“Don’t tell me it’s fucking Jasper,” she spits out, already angry on my behalf.
“God, no. I can’t even imagine.” That would just be perfect, wouldn’t it? “It’s Logan.”
The other end of the line is silent for a few moments. “Logan, from Red Lake, Ontario? That Logan?”
“Yeah, that Logan.” I can hardly believe it myself.
“What is he doing there? Didn’t you say he lived in San Francisco now? Working as a programmer?” Sophie’s voice turns high-pitched.
“Yeah, he?—”
“Why the hell would he be working at a resort in Nova Scotia? It’s literally on the other end of the continent.”
When I can finally get a word in, I say, “I have no idea. You know pretty much everything I know by now.”
We’re both silent for a moment as I let her process the news. Although I haven’t told Sophie about the social media stalking, she does know he was my best friend once upon a time.
“So … did he get hot?”
Of course that would be her first question. Heat rushes to my cheeks because I have indeed noticed how he’s changed. How his jaw has squared out and he wears a nicely groomed stubble that suits him perfectly. How he has the same downturned eyes that glow with newfound maturity. How he’s definitely a handsome man now, not a cute boy.
But that’s not what I respond to Sophie. “Um, I don’t know,” I stammer.
“That means yes.” I can hear the teasing in her voice. “So, is he single?”
“What? I haven’t … I already told you that you have all the information I have.”
“I hope he’s single.”
“He was my best friend.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
I sigh. I want to ignore what her words are making me feel. The slight twinge in my belly. The memory of his fingers grazing my face. And that night, years ago?—
“Soph, I can’t be with anyone right now,” I insist. “I can’t even contemplate being with anyone right now. I thought you’d know that better than anyone else.”
“And I think you’ve paid your dues and done enough sulking. It’s not like Jasper was good enough for you, anyway, or like you ever listened to me about that.” I hear Heather squeal behind her, and I feel my heart clench.
“I remember,” I whisper. Not that I ever agreed with her about that. “But I really thought it could have been my turn with him to … to have what you have.” My voice almost breaks at that last part, but I hold it together.
“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t because he could have just decided to up and leave like he did for you here. And you’d be left as a single mom.”
At least I’d have a baby. But I don’t dare tell Sophie that. The last thing I want to do is guilt-trip her for having what I don’t. That’s not her fault; it’s mine. Maybe if I’d caught on earlier that Jasper was going to leave—or if I’d been the person he needed—things would be different now. Maybe I should have listened to Sophie all those times when she was warning me about him.
“Anyway, I’m supposed to meet Logan for a drink later, and I’m so fucking nervous.”
“Yeah, I can imagine. Just pretend it’s me or something, only ridiculously more attractive to you.”
I roll my eyes. “Har har.”
The happy baby squeals have devolved into cries now. “I’m sorry, I think I’m gonna have to let you go,” she says in a hurry. “But text me after the drinks. Keep me updated.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. Speak later.”
I hang up, not sure whether my mood is better or worse than before. Before I go back to feeling like shit, I decide to get ready to walk back to the lodge. I’ve still got to get my car parked next to the cabin. Plus, Logan is expecting me for that drink.
Trepidation fills my body down to my fingertips. Even though guilt is still gnawing at me, I’m elated at the idea of catching up with Logan. Sophie may be my best friend, but I’ve never felt the same way around someone as I felt when Logan was in my life.
