“We aren’t getting married!”I yell out.Okay, I’m not getting food before we have this conversation.I was so hopeful for the delay.And the sustenance it would give me.“We don’t need to get married just because we had sex.”
“I shall do the right thing.”
“The right thing is to feed me breakfast.And then we’ll go back to our lives.Me trying to get home to mine, you trying to save yours.”
“But we had intercourse.”Leo looks at the bed as if there’s still evidence there that he can see.Or like he’s imagining us doing it in that spot again.
“Yes.But you’ve had sex before and you haven’t married any of those women.”
“But…” Now his eyebrows are drawn low over his eyes.“It is different.”
“It’s not.I’m not a princess or lady or whatever.I’m not even a knight’s daughter.And I’m poor.This won’t ruin my reputation any more than the fact that I’m lying to the queen will.Less, probably.Even if I stay in this time, I won’t be in theton.So, no worries.It’s been great.But you have responsibilities.”
“You are right,” Leo says with a sigh, instead of the denial I thought he would keep throwing at me.“Those responsibilities are not compatible with me doing what I want to.And I cannot be like my father.”
Ouch.I have never been this livid at someone agreeing with me.
I think the hit to my head did more damage than just sending me back in time.I think it knocked the common sense out of me and left it in the future without me.
“Good.I mean, yeah.”I rummage around my trunk for clothes to wear today.It’s not like I could put them on myself after I get them out of the luggage, but it’s something to do while Leo escorts himself out of the room.
Leo grabs my arm as I walk back to the bed, his strong grip closing around my forearm and immediately sending me back to last night, in the best way.
“Though I wish I could have what I want.”His eyes bore into mine.So much heat being conveyed that I clear my throat in response.
There’s no doubt that he’s talking about me being the one he wants.No looking over my shoulder to see who he’s talking to.He wantsme.
“I know.I wish…” There’s too much to articulate.Too much that can’t happen.I settle on the most general phrase I can.“I wish things were different.”
“I shall send Anne up to help you get ready.”Leo slides his hand down my forearm until he gets down to my fingers.Which he then raises to his lips, in order to kiss the back of my hand.
And then he’s gone, while my hand stays up where he left it, hovering in the air.
I’m glad he didn’t push on the marriage front.I don’t know that I would have been able to keep saying no to him.
And that’s terrifying.
* * *
The tripback to London is uneventful.Somber, too.A lot of far-away stares outside of carriage and train windows.Even Anne feels it, and she’s probably disappointed that she failed in her chaperone duties.A fact she could tell right when she walked into the room.
I’ve spent the morning avoiding thinking about what gave me away.
At the palace, I give Leo an awkward goodbye, waving at him since I don’t think awkward side hugs are acceptable yet.
I get back in time for lunch with Queen Victoria and her daily lunch curry.I’m so exhausted from the nighttime activities it’s very hard to keep track of what’s going on, and I’m glad Charles didn’t come to visit.Abdul is bad enough, giving me slight side eye when I let some slang slip.Lucky for me Victoria thinks it’s some “Hindoostani” which is really Urdu, that she hasn’t gotten a chance to learn yet, and doesn’t question it.
“How was the trip?”Victoria asks.
“It was really good, thank you.I got to see so much of the English educational system.Quite impressive.I’ll have plenty to report back to Suniti Devi on things she can implement in her school.”There.Everyone loves being complimented.
It works, and Victoria spends the rest of the time talking about India with Abdul.I nod a lot but keep actual contributions down since I only have tangential knowledge about India during this time.
Then I get some time alone in my room.No callers, no monarch and no Leo.No Anne, even.I open my notebook and go back and forth between adding notes and observations from my trip and brainstorming more ways to get home.
But now I have to give serious consideration to knocking myself out.I haven’t even tried it since the first day, because making myself unconscious seems like a poor decision.But there might not be any other way.
Whether or not the time travel works again, my time is nearing its end.The letter proving I’m a liar should be arriving soon and I should be gone from the palace before that happens.I could go to Limehouse first and get a room at one of the boarding houses until I figure out my next steps.Although it is the obvious choice, it may be crowded enough to provide some protection.
