“Yes.To the stocks with you, woman.”His voice gets unusually deep when he growls out that last part and my lower body immediately clenches in desire.Okay, I can see why Queen Victoria fell bonnet over heels for John Brown when he called her woman.“Are all the women like you in this time you’re from?”
I look around to make sure no one (Charles or someone who hates me and equally wants me to get taken down) heard that.When I’m sure everyone is busy and Anne is too far to hear our whispers, I reply.“Women have more freedom to be who they want.But in general, if a woman wants to talk aboutpenises.”I whisper the word, not because I’m ashamed to talk about genitalia but because I’m trying to keep a low profile over here.“She can.If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to.”
“That sounds not altogether unpleasant.People should be able to do what they feel is right without the public indignation.Especially when saying it doesn’t harm anyone.”With all the scandals in his family history, he is intimately acquainted with how harmful public indignation can be.
“It’s not perfect.There are still people who think women should act a certain way and sexual harassment is still a big problem.But it’s freer than here, mostly.Women can own property outright and have more access to education, jobs, and public spaces.They don’t even need chaperones.”Although even in this era, not everyone is confined to the ton’s rules.Poor women who need to work do without chaperones, but the jobs they can have are limited.Richer women, on the other hand, have more access to education but are often limited in what they can do in public.And then there were a few, like Ida Pfeiffer, who travelled alone, damn the consequences.
He looks suitably impressed at the revelations.“How else is your home different from ours?”
That’s a giant can of worms.“In too many ways to list.In ways that would probably be dangerous to talk about.Let’s just say that technology keeps advancing at a pace that would shock you, even though you’ve seen the Industrial Revolution.And while women have more options for what they want to do in life, it’s still harder for them than it is for men.And commoners get way more autonomy.But a lot of people still struggle to survive in ways they shouldn’t, with the advances in technology and medicine.”Then I add one more because I can’t resist.“A title alone doesn’t help much, but I guess it can still have some weight in certain circles.”Not circles I’m invited to.
“Titlesnotgranting their bearers with all the rights and privileges that come with them?”
I roll my eyes.Of course that’s the one he focuses on.“It had to come to an end some time.”My tone is unsympathetic.“It’s about intelligence and hard work now.Or being cutthroat.Although some is still based on connections and family wealth.Okay, a lot actually still is, but in a different way.”It’s hard to distill an entire world of seven-point-six billion people into generalities.“But in general, there are more opportunities for people to have a chance at a good life than there is here, even though family wealth and connections still play a big part of the world.”
Leo isn’t comforted by that, if the sour look on his face is anything to go by.It makes me defensive.“Oh, come on, you can’t sit here and tell me these people are any better than the people outside these walls.The people on the other side of this town.Everywhere has smart people, nice people, mean people, greedy people.These people here are just luckier than everyone else.”
“Like me and my father.Him getting a fortune then wasting it away and abandoning his family.That’s what you mean by mean, greedy people.”
“I just mean a name or bloodline doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else.I’m not a lady.”I whisper the last part.“Does that make me less than the other people in this nicely decorated garden?Will your future marchioness be better than me because she married you and gave birth to the next marquess?”
“No, she will not be,” Leo says immediately.
I look away, focusing on the intricate dancing in the middle of the garden oasis.“I wasn’t fishing for a compliment.The point is she might be better than me, but it won’t be because of her name or who she marries.Either way, I’m sure you’ll be happy together.”
“But if not for my name, what am I worth?”
“You can be anything, make your own worth.What do you want to do?”
“I do not know.I do not know who I am if I am not the Marquess of Basildon.I do not know what I have to offer beyond it.”
“Because of that name you got a great education.So use it.What interests you?”
“I enjoy history.That was interesting in school.”
“Hey, we have that in common!There’s plenty you can do with it.You can write books.You probably have access to so many records, not just your own, but the records of your friends and acquaintances.You could teach.You could work a government post, probably, which would only sort of be related to history but would probably pay more.You could open your house up to tourists and charge for it, and teach about your family history!”
I’m done not trying to interfere with the past.The longer I’m here, the more my very existence is changing things.And with all the anxiety I have about being found out, getting home, and what I’ll do if I can’t get home, I can’t think about the future effects of all this, too.Sure, I’ll still try not to start a war or invent something that shouldn’t be invented yet; I’ll stay away from big changes.But I can help one person.
Especially when that one person is Leo.
“I suppose I could do those things.But none of them solve the pressing debt issues.The ones I have to solve before the end of the season or I will not have a home to live out of, or food to eat, while I pursue any of those other options.It is too late for me.”
“It’s never too late.I believe you could be a success at any of those things.”
Leo shrugs, uncomfortable with the sentiment.“Perhaps.Ready for another dance?”
I down the rest of my champagne for courage and take his offered hand.I can’t tell if I’m getting better at these dances, because every time I think I remember the steps to one, Leo drags me out to another one.He’s always careful helping me during the dances, but it’s clear I don’t know what I’m doing.Lucky for me, no one expects too much out of me.
Still, it’s nice to be touching Leo again.Even if it is through layers of clothes and gloves.
The rest of the ball is less exciting than the beginning, thankfully for my anxiety.People wander over and talk to us, curious about the courtship.We do a good job not giving anything away, sending the nosy people away with nothing they didn’t already know.
And the attractions we’re surrounded by!I don’t know how they fit everything in, but there are tightrope walkers, a confident lion tamer (which was terrifying and sad since I have no idea how well that lion is treated), and an opera singer with an orchestra.
The night ends with a fireworks display.I have no idea where they’re coming from, since we’re in the middle of Mayfair, but I’m gonna chalk it up to rich people being able to move mountains if the mountain dares to cast a shadow that interrupts their garden party.
Leo stands close to me while the fireworks explode in the air, the bright colors reflecting on the crowd and their powdered wigs.If I were home, I would do what I want and tuck myself under his shoulder at the romantic scene.
