In the corner of my eye, I see Gavin trying the dance with the Naomi, and my good mood dissipates.
I don’t like that at all.
Only for her, because he’s way too old to be creeping on her innocent, college self. I’m basically a selfless superhero, looking out for the youth of America.
And I don’t like seeing him and Cindy getting along so well because of the sanctity of marriage. Just me being a selfless superhero again.
We go through the same dances for the rest of the night, the teachers cutting in and helping those who need it most (me and Gavin).
At 10:00 p.m., Harrison offers to take people to the smoking room again for cigars. I contemplate going for the extra time with Harrison but imagining being around the strong smell makes my stomach turn a little. So I decide to take my chance with Gavin getting the extra time.
I say my good nights as everyone disperses from the evening drawing room. To my surprise, Gavin follows me up the stairs.
“You didn’t want a smoke with the lads?” I ask in a terrible accent, feeling very English after the night we’re had.
Gavin shudders. “No. Cigars smell horrible. And they taste worse.”
“Cigars aside, Harrison really knows how to throw a good house party,” I say when we get to our doors.
We’re at our rooms, so technically, the night should end. But I don’t want it to.
“I get the feeling this isn’t his first rodeo.” He leans against the wood-paneled wall, apparently as eager as me to go to our rooms alone.
“Like that man’s ever been to a rodeo.”
“Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills probably.”
“Most definitely.” I laugh with him. “It’s nice to be here, whatever the reason is.”
“I agree, especially after last night.” Gavin lowers his voice, causing goose bumps on my skin like it was a physical touch.
I clear my throat. “I thought we agreed not to talk about that.” Good thing no one is around to hear that piece of news.
“Nope. Because we would have had to talk about it todecidenot to talk about it.”
“Well, that’s a bad system,” I say, uncomfortable that we’re still talking about it, because every time we do, I’m reminded how much I want him.
“I really enjoyed it.” Gavin directs us back to the topic I don’t want to discuss.
“Yeah, it wasn’t the worst. I guess.” It’s hard for me to be this honest with anything outside of work. Mostly because I haven’t had the practice, since I’m always so focused on work.
“It was great, and we didn’t even touch.” Gavin moves close enough that we could easily be touching right now, but stays just far enough that I find myself leaning closer to him, like a magnet that’s powerless to stop the move. “I wonder how much better it would have been if we had been touching.”
I wish he would stop talking about how much he wants to touch me and just do it. I’m done being driven to levels of unknown frustration with the unfulfilled desire. I’m done with getting turned on by him and only having my own hand to get me off.
I’m done feeling guilty because I’m feeling all of that for someone unsuitable.
“Why don’t you come in my room and find out?” I ask, going after what I want in my personal life for once.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gavin’s eyes get big as he looks at me in disbelief. I don’t think I have the strength to say the words out loud again, so I turn away and hold my door open.
Gavin doesn’t say anything, and I start to get worried. This could still be an elaborate prank on me. And this is his payoff, now that I bent enough to invite him in.
“If you want. Or not. Whatever.” I make one last effort.
The words galvanize him into action. “Yes, Riya. I really do want.” He sends me a steamy look as he enters the room before me.
