“Too many. I honestly lost count. At least six major conflicts, and so, so many skirmishes. I’m sure historians would have had a field day naming them all after I died.”
His eyes moved away from mine, staring blindly forward, and I had a sense he’d mentally returned to the battlefield once more.
“We’d harried, pushed, fought the Demon King back up toward Berengar and then just beyond it. I’d been told by scholars and priests and Vuheia herself there was no way to really kill the Demon King. How do you kill a fallen god, after all? So I wasn’t trying to. Instead, my goal was destroying the mortal form he used as a tether to this plane. If I could destroy the mortal body, then he’d be forced back into the open portal. All we needed was that chance, that timing, to seal the portal again. It would bring the war to an immediate close. I think he knew he was in danger, as he avoided conflict with my army directly, instead harrowing us from all sides. Finally, though, we had him cornered in what was left of the forest around Berengar. It hadbeen decimated to nothing but ash and dirt. I felt like I stood on an alien planet, it looked so foreign. We had him cornered, I could see victory so clearly, I could taste it. And then…”
His hands tightened their hold on my leg.
And I knew what happened next. It felt strange to say the words, as if my mind was divorced from my emotions, but I felt I had to say them. “I was killed.”
“You shouldn’t have been. You weren’t even on the front line, you were in the support section, at the very back of the army. Hell, we weren’t even fighting yet. You shouldn’t have been anywhere near danger. I think…I suspect someone killed you in order to rattle me.” James gave me a sorry smile. “I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve.”
“Yes, so you do.” I could picture this, though. How someone would kill me to get to him. For all of his faults and flaws, James was a paragon of a man. A natural-born leader everyone gravitated to. I could see how his enemies would fear him and would want to think of any tactic to undermine him without needing to face him directly. In that case, I made for a very soft target.
Something I must properly guard against. I would not be used to destroy James a second time.
“You told me how this battle went. You fought the Demon King the next morning?”
“I did. Somehow, I was given the task even before you were killed. How, I’m not sure, as there were better swordsmen. I think it was the symbolism of it all, two kings facing each other. I knew what I needed to do, I had a backup in case I failed, but still, I was the one set to fight him. By the time the fight came, I was thankful. I could die honorably in battle and rejoin you. For it to have taken years to get to that place, the fight only lasted about thirty minutes. I kept recklessly pushing without trying to safeguard myself, and the Demon King had exhausted much ofhis strength trying to keep me at bay. I think he wasn’t prepared for how ferocious I was; he’d expected some self-preservation. He cursed me even as he went down, and I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. I just laid there on the ground next to him, bleeding out and relieved.”
I wanted to shake him, truly shake sense into him, but honestly? I could understand him. He was a man exhausted. Years of one horrible problem after the next had pushed him to the brink over and over again, and then to lose me in the end? Of course he broke. Hell, it amazed me he still had the ability to fight the Demon King to the death even after I had died. That spoke of his mental fortitude. Most people could do nothing but sit and grieve after facing such a loss.
My heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine how brittle he must have felt in order to see death as a relief. An end. I hated how this world had ground him down to that point. James had been focused on coming back to me, nothing more, but simply being with me wasn’t enough. This time, I’d safeguard him, too. I wouldn’t allow people to jerk him about and use him until he broke again. Just the concept made me ill. No, it would not happen again.
I could now also understand why he had woken up after his death and argued two angels into giving him a second chance. I felt frustrated just listening to his litany of disasters. For him to have lived through it, then beenpraised for itand told good job when he likely felt he hadn’t done that good of a job at all?
I’d have punched someone.
I still wanted to punch someone. Only there was no one to punch. Dammit.
Well, hopefully with James’s foresight, the Demon King wouldn’t be able to rise at all in this lifetime. Royce was already working on salence, so the epidemic wouldn’t hit like it had, if it even hit at all. I could see James’s genius at work here. He’dbeen so quick to not only work on the seawalls but to also have a plan in place for those displaced by the disaster. The city of tents hadn’t appeared this time and people were in proper lodging, with proper sanitation, so salence shouldn’t be given the same chance to root and spread again.
He’d done well to avoid all the same pitfalls. Except, possibly, one. “James, I think you’re too effective this round. I think you’ll end up with the throne again.”
He shook his head immediately. “No. Absolutely not.”
“I understand you’re completely against it, but if you don’t have to deal with Princess Valentina again, wouldn’t taking the throne be fine?”
“Unfortunately, it’s a package deal. Oh, I took it at the time because we needed the money and support of another country, but the throne was still a package deal with a political marriage. I don’t want it.” James made a face. “The idea of marrying a woman instead of you is just… No.”
“I do understand.” Although that begged the question… “Um, was it a marriage in name only?”
“Mostly?” James looked disgusted. “I managed to bed her a few times. I had to be nearly blackout drunk to do it. After the first few times, though, I stopped even trying. Too much was going on to even think of sex, and I didn’t want to bed her at all anyway, so it just naturally stopped. Don’t be jealous, Edwin.”
“I’m aware you had to, for various reasons. I don’t hold it against you.” I was surprisingly a little bent over it, though. Like someone had stuck a red-hot needle into my heart. It stung, and I didn’t like it, but I did understand he’d not had much choice in the matter. All that said, I was grateful that inthislife, he hadn’t touched her. I’d make damn sure she didn’t get her grubby little paws on him this time, either.
Odd, I’d never thought I was much of a jealous person. I guessed I was, at heart.
Feeling like James was emotionally raw and rather done with this trip down memory lane, I decided to let things be for the night. Instead, I cradled his cheek with one hand and drew him toward me, kissing him lightly.
“Oh, did I do well?” He lit up, smiling under the kisses, relief in his eyes.
“Very well,” I said.
“How well, exactly?”
I knew precisely what he was angling for and started popping the buttons on his shirt free of their holes. “Would you like a demonstration?”
His grin turned naughty. “If you please.”
