“Shit.” James put a hand over his eyes and slumped sideways against the back of the sofa. “I underestimated how sharp you are. I should know better.”
“Yes, let’s talk about how you know me so, so well despite us working together less than two months.”
He peeked at me through his fingers, green eyes wary. “Edwin, I can answer you but…it’s going to be hard to believe. You’re a very practical man and this stretches incredulity to the breaking point.”
“Right now? I think I’ll believe you. Too much of your behavior makes no damn sense.”
“I hope so. I just…” He let out a gusty sigh and put the wineglass down on the tea table. “It’s been too difficult doing all this. I need my person. You’ve always been my person.”
Again, a statement that made no damn sense. But did make perfect sense.
“You told me you battled the Demon King.” I spoke simply, locking eyes with him. “You said you knew your Tasks in this life. But you weren’t speaking of a previous incarnation, were you? You’ve regressed. You’re repeating a life you’ve already lived. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“No, you’re entirely correct. Of course you’ve figured it out.” James’s mouth screwed up into a tired smile. “Don’t look at me like that, I’ll explain. But for this to make any sense, I’ll have to start from the beginning.”
Twenty-nine
James
I thought I’d been nervous before, stepping back into this life with the goal of doing it all differently. Somehow, that nervousness paled in comparison to sitting on this sofa, faced with an Edwin who knew something was very off. He’d figured out half of it, apparently, based on what he’d just said. Someone had a choke hold on my throat right now, my stomach climbing up into it. I seriously had underestimated how quickly he’d put this together.
On the other hand, because he’d figured out so much, I dared think I might be able to convince him. And Vuheiahadsaid Edwin’s soul remembered. If nothing else, I had to try. I couldn’t keep up this charade around him for much longer.
All right. Just start. Any delay and he’d start shaking answers out of me.
“You are correct. I did regress. This is actually my second go at this life.”
Edwin’s face showed a mix of triumph and disbelief, then he shook his head, sending his hair almost into his eyes. He’dnot waxed it today, which gave him a soft, almost rumpled appearance I liked very much.
Edwin looked me dead in the eye as he demanded, “Second?”
“Right. Second. The second time I’ve been adopted into the royal family, the second time meeting you, all of it. To be precise, I went back a little over ten years in time. I died on the battlefield in my first life defeating the Demon King—”
Recognition flared in his eyes as I gave him another piece of the puzzle to slot into place.
“—which was why, when I restarted this life, the first thing I did was make sure he wouldn’t revive anytime soon.”
Edwin took his glasses off before passing a hand over his face, the computations and gears grinding away behind his eyes. He wasn’t arguing, though, which I took as a good sign.
“In our first life, after I was adopted in, I met you. We worked together for almost a year before I realized I was falling in love with you.”
Edwin jolted, jaw hanging somewhere near his feet.
Look at his dumbfounded expression. I wanted to kiss it away, but he needed answers right now more than anything. I reined in the impulse.
“At almost the same moment I realized my feelings, several things happened all at once. First, Victor managed to kill himself through sheer stupidity, which left the succession in turmoil. Everyone urged me to take the throne next. I argued against this, futilely, as I didn’t want the throne or the arranged marriage that came with it. I lost the argument. Mostly because there was no better candidate and too many people depended on me. I felt pressured, but accepting it was a mistake. I should never have let myself be shoved onto the throne.”
Just remembering those days brought back heartache—the burning frustration of being tied to things not of my own making, of being kept from what I wanted most. I had no way toundo the damage from my first life, to emotionally resolve any of it, except through my actions in this life. Still, the emotions burned in my veins, and I gulped some of the wine to take the edge off. Thank all the gods for the wine. I had a feeling I’d need it to get through this.
“Princess Valentina from Ascor was my wife. We had a horrible marriage. Even as a political partner, she was subpar. She didn’t want to do any of the work, take on any of the responsibilities of her position. She was, in a word, a female Victor.”
Edwin winced, face screwing up in a sour grimace. “Gods, what a thought.”
“Yes, there’s unfortunately two of them running loose in the world. Something I plan to deal with later. At any rate, the marriage was a disaster from start to finish. I wished daily that she’d just die. I couldn’t find the means to divorce her, and no one would let me. I also didn’t have the time to properly argue the point or force a divorce through. Our country had too many disasters.”
Edwin’s eyes searched mine. “Retazo’s Wrath?”
“Was the first of them, yes. Although in this life it happened months earlier. It should have happened at the end of the monsoon season. I didn’t realize how bad the seawalls were, and when the disaster hit, Victor was still alive and in charge of the project. It was…devastating. Worse than what happened this time. The entire lower half of the capital was washed out. We lost a third of the population. It took us years to rebuild even with me throwing as much money and manpower as I could into the situation.”
