Even as I spoke, I made a mental note to assign someone to shadow Victor. I didn’t know what he’d do next (he didn’t get this ultimatum in my first life since he’d died and taken himself out of the running), so it was a question whether he’d listen for once or let his temper get the better of him. What I did know, though, was that whatever he did next? It would surely be stupid.
Twenty-two
James
Today was not a good day.
My many sleepless nights had started to take a toll. Fog clouded my mind, leaving me half dazed, and my emotions teetered wildly. I feared what would come out of my mouth if my slipping control broke. The desire to throw every object on my desk across the room grew steadily throughout the morning, which was a good indication I needed to leave. My staff eyed me warily, and they didn’t deserve my impending emotional overflow. I headed for the training hall, needing to be somewhere not my office. I also hadn’t trained much—well, I’d whacked things late at night in an effort to sleep, but mindlessly hitting things didn’t really count as training.
No, I needed to truly train. I’d also promised a few of my knights I would train with them, Sir Collins in particular. I’d only had one session with him, and the competition was coming up soon, so I’d best focus on him a little more.
My mind on archery tips and such, I completely didn’t realize Queen Beatrice was coming my direction until she hailed me.
“James! Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
I blinked, switching mental topics, and greeted her with a quick bow. “I’m off to the training hall.”
She looked as if she’d just left some garden party. The light, flowing dress of pale green suited her, and she’d worn several tastefully selected pearls. At her heels were Ramsey and a knight I had a nodding acquaintance with. Damn if I could remember the name, though.
Queen Beatrice gave me a warm smile. “Delightful. That’s how a prince should be, well-rounded in all disciplines. I did have both Victor and Royce trained as boys, but the second they became adults, they dropped the training entirely. Such a disappointment.”
Somehow, that didn’t surprise me. Royce would rather be standing in front of blood samples. Victor would rather be lounging about in bed. Neither of them had the right mindset or passion to pursue a martial art.
“Are you training in your archery or swordsmanship today?”
A valid question, since I could do both. Archery had my heart, however. “Archery. Well, really, I’m training someone in archery today.”
Her brows needled together and her look of happiness faded sharply into unease. “I’ve heard rumors you train your knights?”
Now what was this look for? “Well, yes, on occasion.”
“James, truly, if you have to train them, then they’re not fit to be your knights—”
I threw up a hand to stop her. “That’s not why I’m training them. They’re all very good. Three knights in particular want to compete in the Wilton Archery Tournament. They know I’ve won said tournament five years in a row. All I’m doing is standing off to the side and giving them tips to help one of them win.”
Her expression didn’t clear; she wrung her hands, more agitated, if anything. “That’s not my point. You’re aprincenow. You shouldn’t be using your time like this, training people beneath you. It’s demeaning.”
Sleep deprived as I was, my temper already hung by a thread, and my already tenuous control snapped. I forced myself to stillness but there was no checking my expression. I didn’t know what my face was doing, but it was enough to turn her pale skin almost ashen. The knight almost reacted, and I saw from the corner of my eye Ramsey quickly stop him. I ignored both.
“Might I remind you that until a month ago, I was one of those peoplebeneath you?”
She swallowed hard and looked embarrassed.
“Because I was born a bastard, I knowexactlyhow stupid the whole idea of bloodlines and nobility is.” My tone was flat, but inside I shook with anger. How fucking dare she say that. To me, of all people. “I am a prince only in name, Beatrice. And only to serve my country. I didn’t do it to rejoin a family who cast me aside because my father couldn’t be bothered to pull out in time. Now, I’m going to train. Never say such disgusting words to me again.”
I sidestepped her and deliberately walked at a normal pace, not rushing to get away from her. I wouldn’t apologize for the crudeness of my words. Beatrice held an overly inflated opinion of her own birthright and shouldn’t. She’d done precious little to earn the right to keep her status as queen, in my opinion. Barely more than the bare minimum.
She’d been complaining about the incompetence of her nobly born son just yesterday and she still spat out such rhetoric? Didn’t she even see the hypocrisy? The irony of what she said? How dare she berate me for being a decent human being? She’d already had so little of my respect, but even that bit disappearednow. This damn attitude of hers had caused so many things to go wrong in my first life, including my disastrous marriage.
The gall of that woman, questioning why I chose to spend time with my own knights. People who had literally died protecting me. I couldn’t believe how thick she was.
When I reached the training yard, I realized I had beaten Sir Collins there. Fine, I’d put some arrows into a target, try to rid myself of the anger coursing through me. I was in no fit state to teach right now.
I grabbed my usual bow off the wall and a quiver of arrows, then went to the farthest target. It would challenge me the most and help me focus. Or that was the hope, anyway.
Nock, aim, release.
I breathed through each pull and release, more from habit than anything.
