Edwin was an early riser. Maybe he’d be up.
I stood at his door, hand lifted to knock, when I remembered—I couldn’t go to Edwin. He didn’t remember me.
Grief rattled around in my lungs, threatening to take my breath away. Heartbroken all over again, I retreated to my room instead. Fuck this, I may as well walk around outside. I’d just throw on some boots. No point in waking anyone.
The town was still and dark except for one building—the bakery across the street. Bakers kept notoriously early hours; I wasn’t surprised to see a light on. The rest of the area was quiet, lit by only a few streetlights, and it felt almost eerie to walk along the street without even a whisper of a person for company.
Insect noises filtered through the air, accompanied by the sound of the river. I let the sounds wash over me, soothing my mind, grounding me once again in the present.
My feet naturally stopped once I reached the portal. In this predawn hour, it looked more ominous, the metal door an eerie black with no illumination. Only the ward offered any kind of light. It glowed with a subtle sheen of power, an iridescent and impenetrable bubble over this whole area. The old ward wasstill up, to keep people away while the mages reworked the protections over this place. I couldn’t actually set foot on top of it, nor did I want to. This was fine, this distance. I could see for myself the protections were in place and the portal remained closed. That reassurance helped calm me further.
Benches had been built nearby—this was a tourist attraction, after all—and I took a seat at one, just staring at the portal. My mind wasn’t really focused on it. I couldn’t seem to order my thoughts.
How to go about courting Edwin when he was so closed off? I’d forgotten how he kept me at a professional distance at first, even though I had liked him from the moment I met him. Forgotten or not realized? Even though I’d been attracted to him from the onset, I hadn’t tried to flirt, so maybe not realized? We’d become so close, so quickly in our first lives. By the time we died, we’d often shared a bed, as it helped both of us sleep. It wasn’t uncommon for either of us to fall asleep on each other’s laps while traveling, or in the field. Sometimes, Edwin would just hug me, hold me until I’d calmed, when shit had really gone down. I would love a hug right now. I couldn’t even take his hand right now without alarming him.
I liked the sound of the river. The battle here in my past life had ravaged this area, and I couldn’t remember if the river had survived it. I hope it had.
I really didn’t know how I was going to sleep peacefully without copious amounts of potions. I needed Edwin to sleep, and I didn’t see a relationship happening in the next six months, not at the glacially slow rate he was warming to me. Could I commission an Edwin-sized doll?
No, that would be creepy. Also, he’d never forgive me for it.
Maybe I’d train every night until midnight. If I exhausted myself enough, I’d sleep like the dead.
No, wait, I’d tried training the other night and it had only partially worked.
“Your Highness?”
And now I was hallucinating Edwin’s voice.
I looked up, and was I also hallucinating visually? Edwin stood next to me. He looked like he’d thrown on clothes and raced out here, in fact, as he wasn’t his normally polished self. His hair was adorably mussed and he stared at me from behind his glasses with blatant worry, a blanket in his hand. Was he cold?
“Edwin,” I greeted, a little blankly. “I didn’t think you were up.”
His brows beetled in confusion. “I wasn’t. Nor should you be, as it’s far too early for anyone but the bakers. I heard you when you stopped at my door. Did you need something?”
Was he not a hallucination then? “It’s fine. I had a nightmare, was all. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back—”
“What nightmare?”
Even as he asked, he put the blanket over me, tucking it around my shoulders. I settled under his hands. It felt good to have him even this close. My heart hummed, happy. I eyed his shoulder, wanting to burrow in against him, not sure if he’d allow it. Dammit, he probably wouldn’t. Still, I yearned to tuck my face into the crook of his neck and just stay there for the rest of the year.
“What nightmare?” Edwin prompted again.
Oh, I hadn’t answered him. I almost didn’t know what to say but decided to tell the truth. For once, I’d not measure every word, and just tell him. “I dreamed I battled the Demon King.”
He looked at me with surprise. “As in an actual swordfight?”
“Yes. We were farther north, not here.” I turned to gaze in that direction. “The forest had been decimated, the land scorched of anything but dirt. We fought, and fought, andinflicted wounds on each other over and over. Finally, he drove his sword through me. I used the last of my strength to behead him. Then his eyes opened again, and he grinned and asked me for another round. I woke up scrambling for my sword and fell out of the bed in the process.”
Edwin bent to chafe my arms gently in comfort. His eyes never left mine as he heard me out. “You said you didn’t want the Demon King’s resurrection hanging over your head, which is why you brought us here. Did you dream of this before?”
“Yes, but not like this. Tonight, it felt shockingly real.”
He glanced back at the portal, and I could see his brilliant mind churning away with facts and possibilities. “Did you feel like you were in that moment? Or were you more of an observer?”
“I was fully in the moment.” Just what was he thinking over there?
“Did you even feel the pain of your wounds?”
