You know, all said? That was probably the best advice I’d gotten.
Fifty-six
Edwin
The bed beside me was empty.
Not good.
I sat up and scrubbed a hand over my face. James had woken me twice with nightmares, and I’d soothed him back to sleep both times, but apparently he’d not been able to rest. If he was already up at this early hour of the morning, then I suspected he’d not slept at all.
Dammit.
The stress of the situation sat like a lodestone in my stomach, so I wasn’t remotely tempted to eat breakfast. I’d end up in the bathroom the rest of the day if I tried. Instead, I washed up, dressed, and took a cup of peppermint tea with me as I looked for James.
Passing by maids and staff in the hall, I heard whispers.
“—you think Prince James was going to be designated crown prince?”
“It sounded like it for a minute before Lord Victor appeared—”
Then another group who were talking just above a whisper, ruminating on the same possibility. And another. Every time I turned a corner, it was the same topic with variations of James marrying Valentina or not, and always said in hopeful tones. No one wanted Victor reinstated, after all.
Granted, they weren’t the only ones speculating. I shared their suspicions, and it could be one of the many things that had kept James awake with nightmares last night. Mostly, though, it had been Princess Valentina entering the ballroom. I’d never seen color drain from a person’s face so fast.
James had told me some of what marriage to Valentina had been like. I now suspected he hadn’t even told me two percent. He wasn’t comfortable talking about her, a boundary I had respected, but I might have to drag more out of him. Just to know how to protect him from her, if nothing else.
I asked multiple people for James’s location, but everyone seemed to think he had gone to the office already. Which, what? He could normally be found in the training yard at this hour. I expected him to be there just to blow off steam, if nothing else.
This did not bode well.
When I finally reached the office, I didn’t see him at his desk. Hmm, maybe he’d run out again? When he got into these frantic moods, he tended to be scattered and go in every direction until I sat on him.
All right, well, my portfolio sat on my desk. I’d grab it first and see if I could hunt him down.
The second I rounded my desk, though, I realized James was under it. Again. Was this becoming a habit? He did realize he didn’t actually fit under there, right? I was surprised he managed at all, frankly.
I took him in from head to toe and didn’t like what I saw. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and from the state of his clothes, he’d pulled on the first thing at hand andhadn’t bothered with anything else. He sat scrunched up, knees propping up his green notebook where he scribbled furiously. For all that this man could almost make two of me in size, he looked almost…fragile? I couldn’t think of a better word to describe it. Like the stress of the situation was breaking him. Every protective instinct I possessed clamored to the fore, and I was inclined to agree—he needed protecting just then. I wanted to hug him, reassure him. I’d rarely seen him like this, and it broke my heart knowing how vulnerable he felt if he was once again hiding under my desk.
He’d crash and burn at this rate.
Unfortunately, I failed to possess a magic wand I could wave and magically fix the situation.
Kneeling, I put a hand on his leg. “James?”
He blinked up at me, then blinked again, so lost in his head it took a second to realize I knelt near him. “Morning.”
“It is morning, yes. Dearest, did you get any sleep at all?”
He shook his head and looked back at the book, but he didn’t return to scribbling.
“Can you come out?”
“I’d rather not.”
Had the belly of my desk become his safe place? Why there of all places…? You know what, right now, it didn’t matter why. He clearly needed to be there, and I wasn’t going to force him out. I leaned in and kissed his forehead, just to put a smile on his face, which worked. For about a second.
“All right. I’m going to start working, then. Let me know if you change your mind.”
