“Dance with me, Edwin,” he murmured against my skin. “Just dance with me.”
I smiled and held him closer to me. “Always.”
Fifty-five
James
I didn’t sleep that night.
I tossed, turned, dozed until I was sucked into nightmares, then woke again with a start. After waking Edwin twice with my nightmares, I waited until he was sound asleep again before sliding stealthily from the bed. I didn’t want him sleep deprived with me. It was bad enough I’d be shuffling about like a zombie.
The sun wasn’t even up yet, only the barest hint of a lighter blue hovering on the horizon. I threw on clothes haphazardly, begged for a cup of tea from a maid, and damn near hugged her when she brought a full pot, plus muffins still warm from the kitchens.
I did not deserve the many kind, patient staff who worked in this palace. If I could, I’d give raises to all of them.
I drank most of my first cup standing up. I stood at the footboard and watched my Edwin sleep for a while. He was so peaceful in slumber, one hand under the pillow, as snugly tucked into bed as a worn-out child. Much as I adored making love with him, sometimes true intimacy felt like this: having him in mybed, being able to sleep next to him, enjoying the way he fit into my arms.
I couldn’t take such moments for granted. Not after years of dreaming with no hope of realization. There had been times in my first life I’d have cheerfully lost a hand if it meant escaping my wife, the throne, and all the responsibilities—just so I could have Edwin. Thankfully, I’d managed it this time, being able to confess my heart and keep him close.
But for how long?
This thought plagued me more than anything else. Edwin had sworn that no matter what happened, political marriage or not, he would not leave my side. I appreciated his promise very much because it held all the weight of a marriage vow to me. I was in no doubt about where I stood in this man’s heart. That said, I couldn’t put my Edwin on the same level as a mistress. I wouldn’t.
Maybe it was shortsighted of me, Paradise itself being on the line, but I stood by what I’d said. Paradise without Edwin was no Paradise at all. I’d repeat multiple lives if I had to, but I would not betray either my heart or him by letting another person call me spouse. I couldn’t.
I just couldn’t.
It galled me that I hadn’t been able to propose last night. The mood was all wrong, and I just hadn’t thought it wise to push my plan forward. I hated putting it off again, but I had to get rid of Valentina first if I was to have Edwin. Of that, I was sure.
Which meant I had to get rid of her very soon. As soon as possible.
I stifled a sigh, moving quietly to avoid waking him, and left our room altogether, closing the bedroom door carefully behind me. Let him sleep. One of us needed to be functional later today, and it likely wouldn’t be me.
I retreated to the far side of our suite of rooms, the receiving room, in part because I wanted to put distance between me and my sleeping lover. Also because if I just sat here and waited for the workday to start, I’d go mad. Better to get things in motion.
Snagging a runner, I sent two messages in quick succession. First to Ramsey, my queenly mother’s retainer, asking him to meet me at his convenience. Who knew if the man was even awake now. Second message to Tremon, to see if he had any kind of update for me. I’d snuck him into the ball last night as staff so he could eavesdrop on conversations, so he surely had something to report. He’d stayed in the palace last night, so hopefully he could report in soon. Of the two men, he was likely the only one awake and moving at this godsforsaken hour. I expected him first.
Ten minutes later I heard a light knock at the door.
“Enter!”
Sure enough, Tremon had beat Ramsey here. He entered, looking a touch tired, hand fused to a cup of khavé. I couldn’t blame him there. He bowed. “Your Highness.”
“Tremon, sit, sit, have a muffin. Tell me everything you’ve learned, if anything.”
He snagged two muffins before sitting, then bit into one with a sigh. “Excellent blueberry muffins. Well, to be blunt, I haven’t learned much despite my efforts. Lord Victor and Princess Valentina are keeping information very close to their chests right now.”
I paused, thinking his words over. “That says a great deal. I didn’t think Victor could keep his mouth shut.”
“Surprised me too but he’s doing it now. He won’t even explain exactly how he and Princess Valentina met, as she’s never been here before and they’ve never been formally introduced. The story he fed his parents was that his ship had docked in Ascor for a few days—something about a ripped sailneeding repaired, which I also haven’t been able to verify—and they chanced upon each other.”
“Bullshit.”
“Agreed.”
I sipped more tea and tried to think. Difficult when I’d gotten perhaps an hour of sleep. “This smacks of being orchestrated.”
“Again, agreed. I did verify that Lord Victor hadn’t received any foreign correspondence prior to his leaving. So whatever happened, it must have happened while he was docked in Ascor.”
