I paused once more, hands resting against the cool sides of the tub. Alarmed by the conviction in his voice, I demanded, “Wait, what of the Task you must do?”
“It won’t be done.”
“You’d skip Paradise rather than be king?!”
“If that’s what it takes.”
Now I knew he was being needlessly stubborn. Shit, he really wouldn’t run away, would he?
Fuck, he might.
James tilted his head to look back at me, his expression heartbreakingly vulnerable. “Would you go with me? If I left.”
I hated his uncertainty and immediately put my arms around his shoulders, hugging him to me, not caring that he wet my shirt. “I would. Do not doubt that for a moment.”
He sank into my arms, another sigh slipping out, but this one sounded heavy. As if he had no more strength in him.
“You’re afraid of what will happen if I leave Zuskal.”
I couldn’t refute his words. “Your Task is here, connected to this country. You’ll forfeit Paradise completely if you leave. I have no doubt of that. I fear…I fear what will happen.”
“I can’t say your fear is misplaced. I don’twantto leave. But being king is…”
He didn’t need to finish his sentence. Being king again was anathema to him. I must somehow convince him the experience wouldn’t be the same. There was no other possibility. James really would flee—put himself into exile—over repeating the reign he once endured.
I was at a loss. I had no idea what to do next, what to say next. How to convince him. How to navigate this issue. This was the first thing we’d ever fought about, or even disagreed on, and I’d rather fight about something mundane. Something that didn’t matter.
Not something like this, that would affect not only this life but our afterlife.
James lifted both hands, bath water sloshing as they came free, before resting his fingers on my forearms. Holding me to him. When he spoke, his voice was threadbare, barely above a whisper.
“Do you really see no other possibility? Am I truly the only candidate?”
Gods above, must I answer him? I hedged around the question. “I can’t think of another good candidate. Rather, I fear the void you would leave if you refused the throne. A power vacuum will only bring the worst kind of people, those with more greed than sense. The half-siblings and cousins you have, the other royals who can make a claim for the throne, are only stayed by your position. If you were to leave it, they’d flood in. Who, if any, would you choose?”
He groaned, the sound emanating from his very soul. “Did I mention that most of those relations didn’t survive the war?They turned tail and ran or tried to barter with demons and became possessed.”
I filtered this information in and countered, “So you know for a fact that none of them are trustworthy?”
“Unfortunately.”
I wasn’t at all surprised. “Dearest, I won’t push you more tonight, but I want you to consider two things. First, you have the knowledge necessary to avoid the same pitfalls that made your last reign such a horror show. Taking the throne again won’t bring about the same result. I’m confident on this. Second, you must remember to not let fear make any decisions for you. Fears are not rational and will not lead you to good results.”
“Wise words,” he muttered, sitting up. “But I’m done talking about this tonight. Let’s sleep.”
I’d probably pushed as much as I could right now. If he wanted a break from this topic, I could allow it. Hopefully our conversation wouldn’t stir up new nightmares. I prayed it hadn’t.
Still, sleeping on it and letting him mull over the decision seemed the wiser course.
If he didn’t change his mind, would it be cheating to ask Vuheia to put a word in his ear? Even if he didn’t want to listen to me, surely he’d listen to her.
I’d tuck that away as a last resort.
Forty-three
James
“James. James! Wake up!”
