“Hey, I’m just saying.” He took a healthy bite of his sandwich. When he finished chewing, he added, “Safe, sane, and consensual is all that matters.”
I started on my own sub. The vinegary bite of the peppers with the roast beef and cheese made the perfect combination. If I didn’t have a housekeeper to round out my meal choices, I’d live on deli meat and power bars. Hopefully, the food was enough to distract my friend from any more questions.
“That implies a level of intimacy.” Beer in one hand and sandwich in the other, he motioned to the bag again. Clearly not distracted. “Which makes things easier for me.”
“What things?” I asked, certain I didn’t want to know.
“Jules got the table she was after for the Hope and Help gala. We have to fill eight seats. With the two of us and you and yourfriend.” The way he said friend made it clear he thought Elena and I were more. “That just leaves four more people to rope into this thing.”
“Can’t I just write you a check?” I hated those kinds of events with a white-hot passion. It meant uncomfortable clothes, too much noise, even more small talk, and a bunch of social cues I inevitably got wrong. I’d spend the night counting the minutes until I could go home.
“Nope. I’ve got to have bodies in chairs.” He took a swallow of beer, looking too smug for my comfort.
“What if I got you some bodies? They sell those, don’t they?” They used cadavers in medical school. There had to be a way to procure them. The ridiculous thought led me to imagine the grave robbers who used to dig up bodies back in the nineteenth century and use the new railroads to ship them to medical schools.
He grimaced and leaned away from me. “You are not seriously suggesting propping dead people up at the dinner table.”
Not seriously, but now that I had the thought, I wanted to find out about grave robbers. And maybe the ones who stole mummies. The kind the caused all those legends of curses.
“Stop it.” Mark put a little force behind his words. We’d been friends—good friends—long enough for him to know how easily my thoughts could get hijacked. “Listen, you don’t have to come if you really don’t want to.”
I exhaled and reached for my beer.
“But you’re going to have to explain it to Jules. She gave me a task and it’s not worth my skin to fail her.”
Just like that, relief slipped from my grasp. I’d known Julianna almost as long as I’d known Mark. She was five and a half feet of tenacity, exactly the kind of person you asked if you wanted to get something done. There wasn’t an excuse short of bleeding or being on fire that would get me off the hook with her.
“I don’t know if Elena would be interested in something like that.” Elena would know exactly what to wear and how to act. I had no doubt she could slip seamlessly into any situation, which wasn’t a comfort. Pairing her poise with my awkwardness would only make me look worse by comparison. “We don’t do that kind of thing,” I said, grasping at straws. “We’ve never even been out on a real date.”
“Damn.” Mark arched an eyebrow, his attention going back to the bag tucked behind me. “Not even dinner? You got a woman to agree to wear a butt plug for you, and you’ve never even taken her out?” His gaze snapped back to mine, his eyes widening. “Wait. The plug’s not for you, is it? Never mind. Don’t tell me.”
“Shut up, asshole.” I glanced down the hallway toward where I hoped Elena still slept. I didn’t want her to think I’d share what we did together with anyone else.
“Well, then you’re past due for a real date,” he said, unfazed by my insult. “Ask her. If she says no, you’ve got ten days to find someone else to bring.”
I bit into my sub, wishing I’d toughed it out instead of calling him. He wouldn’t charge me for the house call, but it would still cost me.
17
Iwoke up in a dark room, sweaty, with my hair stuck to my face and my mouth tasting like ass. It took me a minute to remember where I was; when I did, the mortification returned in full force.
I’d thrown up on Jake and then apparently fallen asleep in his bed. Oh God, what else had I done? I never drank to excess, even in college because I didn’t want to lose control of myself. And I sure as hell didn’t want to throw up in public. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, willing my memories away. When that didn’t work, I glanced to the opposite side of the bed and realized I wasn’t alone.
Jake slept, sprawled in an X across the bed. He’d tossed off the duvet, leaving him bare except for his boxers and sporting some impressive morning wood. I paused for a second to enjoy the view until the idea of him waking up before I had a chance to brush my teeth and try to fix my hair drove me to my feet.
I managed to stand for a few seconds, swaying on my feet. My head pounded, my vision went fuzzy around the edges, and I collapsed back onto the mattress.
“Hey, wait a minute,” Jake called in a sleep-roughened voice.
I wanted to escape to the bathroom before I had to turn and face him, but even if I managed to get to my feet…I couldn’t stay vertical.
“Let me help you.” He hurried around the bed to wrap an arm around my waist and help me to stand.
Tucked in against his bare chest with his erection pressing against my hip should have felt a little familiar. But when I breathed in the green tea scent of him, I got a whiff of stale sweat that could only be coming from me. I let him lead me to the bathroom without raising my head to meet his gaze. The last thing I wanted to do was look at the beautiful man—or his feet, dammit—while I felt like and was pretty sure I looked like, the walking dead. I let him steer me to the bathroom, closing the door on him as soon as I was inside.
It was worse than I’d imagined. My normally light-brown hair lay plastered in greasy strips on my head, and the dark circles, a combination of mascara and whatever made skin shadowed, had set up camp under my eyes. With my huge charcoal-smudged eyes, pale skin with unhealthy gray undertones, and Jake’s giant T-shirt hanging off my shoulders and down to my thighs, I looked more homeless urchin than sexy play partner.
There was precious little I could do about it, but I could start by getting the horrid taste out of my mouth. I found the toothbrush Jake gave me in the holder beside his sink and brushed until I couldn’t taste anything but mint. By the time I used the facilities, I felt closer to human, but I still didn’t look it. A basket of washcloths and hand towels sat beside the seafoam glass vessel sink. It was the only color in the room, which felt clean and bright and like the ocean at the same time.
