HE’D ALMOST LOST IT. PRESSED up against Andy, her warm curves filling his cold edges, Liam had come perilously close to losing his mind. For a moment, it had taken every bit of control he had to keep from folding her into his arms and curling his body protectively around her. Hell, he’d come damn close to wrapping his arms around her and covering her hands on the handlebars with his. Tangling their fingers together as they squeezed the accelerator on the machine whose carburetor badly needed a tune-up and raced up the hill, letting the backward force mold her body to his. In the end, he’d managed to stop himself at gripping her arms with his hands, but the force of his want unnerved him. It knocked him enough off-kilter, he forgot to say anything when she practically kicked him off the vehicle. By the time he recovered his senses, she’d pulled away.
Although he could see her sitting at the crest of the hill, watching them, maybe waiting to see how Jake reacted to him. It gave him a little solace to think she might be as shaken as he was. Enough that she had to put some distance between them fast. It also softened something inside him to think that despite whatever she’d felt riding with him, she cared enough about his friend to make sure he was okay before she took off. He didn’t know quite what to make of the sexy farmer, but he wouldn’t mind having some time to figure it out. Shoving the thought aside, he turned his attention to the man climbing out of the cab of the tractor.
With the distance between them, he wasn’t sure he recognized the young man who’d been such a cut-up when he’d joined Liam’s unit. Jake’s hair had grown out and he had the start of a scruff of a beard, but it was his eyes that were the most different. Instead of wearing creases around the edges etched from too much time spent goofing around, the younger man’s eyes looked flat. They widened slightly when his gaze met Liam’s, but the spark only held for a fraction of a second before slipping away.
He didn’t move the same way either. Liam had gotten used to seeing people adjust to injuries. He himself had to do it. He worked out almost every day to keep his body strong enough to compensate for the injuries that still plagued his back and leg. Sometimes compensating for a weakness caused its own problems. He knew several guys who had trouble with their hips caused by injuries to their feet and lower legs. Muscling through often meant other things suffered. But watching Jake cross the field, it felt like more than injuries were stooping his shoulders. He moved the way the unit had when they crossed unfamiliar territory. His head never stayed still, scanning the field as if he expected enemy combatants to spring up out of the freshly plowed rows. But instead of the coiled, carefully controlled energy he used to have when they served together, Jake seemed hunched over, like he was anticipating a shot that wouldn’t come out there in the field.
Regardless of his physical location, it looked like Jake had a long way to go to find his way home again.
“Hey man, it’s good to see you,” he said, hurrying to meet the younger man. He wasn’t about to ask how he was doing. No reason to make his friend lie.
“You came.” There was the flash again in Jake’s eyes. Nothing big, just a glimpse of the man he used to know.
“You called. Of course I came.” It was part of the code they’d lived and too many of them had died by.No call goes unanswered. Nobody gets left behind. From the looks of him, it looked a lot like Jake was falling farther behind.
“I thought you had that gig with the security company.”
“I got some time off.” For the first time since Emerson sent him on a forced vacation, the extra time didn’t pinch. If it meant he could help Jake, it would be worth it. Everyone had to fight their own demons, but it didn’t hurt to know you had people in your corner—especially people who’d had your back under heavy fire. “How close are you to finishing up here?” The tractor was parked on the far side of the field. It all looked the same to Liam but he’d never planted a thing in his life. For all he knew, Jake was getting started.
“I’ve got that small section to finish over there,” he said, motioning with his head to something Liam couldn’t see. “Do you have time to wait or do you have to go?”
Liam could practically see the younger man holding his breath. There was no way in hell he’d leave Jake. Not until he knew his friend would be okay. If they left the farm, they’d go together. Liam debated renting a cabin in the mountains so he and Jake could fish for a couple of weeks, but watching the guy, he couldn’t decide if it was a good idea. Maybe the change of scenery would help. Maybe it would shift the other man’s already seemingly precarious balance.
“I’m not going anywhere. Is there something I can do to help?”
“Naw. I can give you a ride back to the house in the cab but it’s too small to hold more than one person for plowing. I’ve got it. I’ll finish as fast as I can.”
“Take your time.”
Jake nodded and hurried back to the tractor. It might be wishful thinking but Liam thought the other man’s shoulders might have relaxed a fraction of an inch. He certainly seemed more comfortable the closer he got to the big green piece of machinery. He wondered if that was true of the farm in general or if it was just having a purpose that seemed to make things easier for his friend. Adjusting his expectations away from a week of fishing, Liam walked to the edge of the field and found a big rock wedged into a spot in the fence row.
He saw the way the shape of the field adjusted to accommodate the rock and for a minute he remembered his mother reading him a story about rats or mice or something. He hadn’t thought about it in decades. He still wasn’t exactly sure what the story was about but he remembered something about a farmer and a rock and rodents who were in big trouble. Mostly he remembered the warmth of a woman he’d lost a long time ago and a kinder, gentler world.
There was no reason to dwell on any of it and plenty of reason not to. He’d learned the hard way that the world they lived in was anything but kind or gentle. He was okay being one of the few who held onto the truth and worked to make sure the rest of the world didn’t have to face what it was really like out there. If it made him too hard for fairy tales, he was just fine with that. He didn’t know whether it was the old woman mothering him or the younger one trying not to touch him who woke up the feelings he’d rather keep buried. Or maybe it was being outside, feeling the sun on his face despite the cool temperature of the air, breathing in the rich, loamy scent of the newly plowed earth or the indefinable scent of new green growth. Thewhydidn’t matter. He’d go ahead and shove it all into theno waycategory and move on.
Easing himself to the ground, he leaned back against the rock and closed his eyes. The dirt was hard underneath him but it wasn’t damp. The growl of the tractor made a decent background noise and even the odor of diesel was somehow reassuring. Pulling his sunglasses from his pocket, he slid them on and tipped his head back, trying and failing to keep his thoughts from drifting back to the sexy farmer who’d left him standing in her field and how long it would take before he got to see her again.
––––––––
“WHAT ARE YOU doing?” Andy made it back to the house in time to see Millie teetering on one of the kitchen chairs, stretching past her full five feet to reach something in the upper cabinet. “Get down.” She hurried to spot the older woman, fear for Millie’s safety making her voice more shrill than she intended.
“I need the pan to make a Bundt cake.” Millie glanced over her shoulder at Andy like it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“I’ll get whatever you need. Just please get down.” Andy let her hands hover over the older woman’s hips in case she lost her balance. She wasn’t going to breathe again until she got Millie firmly planted on the ground, preferably sitting in the chair instead of standing on it.
“It’s on the top shelf, behind those Pyrex baking dishes. The red one, not the blue one.”
“You have two Bundt cake pans? Never mind. Just get down. I’ll get it.”
She held Millie’s hand while she climbed down. When her feet hit the floor, the older woman at least had the decency to look sheepish. Andy climbed onto the chair and grabbed a stack of baking dishes, taking the time to set them on the counter before reaching for the desired pan. If she fell after all the grief she gave her, Millie would never let her live it down. Not to mention she had two more rows of lettuce to get in the ground and another batch of soap to cut and package before it was time to milk the goats, none of which she could do injured.
“Tell me again why you need the cake pan? I thought you made corn bread for lunch.” Honestly, she wasn’t ever going to complain about Millie’s baked goods. It was one of life’s simple pleasures and one she was incredibly grateful for, but Millie usually limited herself to baking one thing a day.
“I’m making chiffon cake with fresh lemon curd and Chantilly cream for dinner.”
“You’re doing what?” Andy asked, pausing in the middle of handing the older woman the blue, obviously well-loved Bundt pan.
“We’ve got a man staying for dinner. I’m making a cake.”
