“Why should I believe a word you say? You never intended for me to go with you. You had the damn penthouse key in your pocket the night you asked me to go. You wouldn’t have done that if you expected me to go along. The only question I have is how far ahead of time did you work things out with her and what would you have done if I’d tried to come along?”
Luke schooled his face to hide the guilt he felt. He had been relieved when she said she wouldn’t go, but not because he intended to meet Gretchen or anyone else. He was getting in too deep with Claire. It had gotten too hard to keep her at arm’s length, and he wanted to put some physical distance between them so he could get his emotions under control. He couldn’t risk letting her in, but he couldn’t seem to let her go.
But he was telling her the truth. Nothing happened with Gretchen, and it wasn’t because she hadn’t wanted it. It was because he couldn’t.
He couldn’t touch another woman – even one any man would want – and not think of Claire. Not ache for Claire. He’d caught Gretchen’s roaming hands before she managed more than a quick grope, and when his car had pulled up in front of Gretchen’s hotel she got out alone. As she got out of the car she turned back to him and said, “I hope she’s worth it. Whoever she is.” And all Luke could think of was getting home to Claire.
“That’s what I thought,” Claire said when he’d taken too long to answer.
“What do you mean? Nothing happened. I still can’t fucking believe it myself, but nothing happened between me and Gretchen. We’re old friends. We had dinner together and went to the benefit, but we didn’t have sex. Not even close. I couldn’t.”
“What do you mean you couldn’t?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
“I mean I couldn’t. I’m not all that happy about it, especially not now, but you’re the only woman I want.” He saw her posture soften a fraction, and he tried to push a little. “I don’t lie, Claire, but I’m not monogamous or at least I haven’t been before you. I’ve never felt like this before. Cut me some slack, please. I don’t want anybody but you. I woke the pilot up and made him bring me home eight hours early because I had to get to you. I gave you a key to my place. We’ve practically been living together. It’s crazy; I know it is but I like knowing you’re there even when I’m not. I haveneverdone that with any other woman. Can’t that be enough?”
It was all true, every bit of it, but saying it out loud, saying it to her made it more real somehow. He couldn’t take the time to decide how that made him feel, not when he was still trying to convince Claire to come home with him.
Her shoulders slumped, and she looked up at him from under her dark lashes. “You really didn’t have sex with her. Not any kind,” she clarified, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“Not any kind.”
He reached for her and this time when he caught her she didn’t pull away. Wrapping his arms around her, he felt parts of his world slip into alignment. Her body was stiff against his, but he stroked her back, keeping his lips pressed against her hair and breathed in the spicy floral scent he’d always associate with Claire. After a moment, he felt her soften in his arms and something tight in his chest relaxed. Tipping her chin up, he saw her eyes filled with tears.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” He brushed a kiss over her lips, teasing and tasting until she opened for him. He took the kiss deeper, catching her sighs with his mouth. “Besides, I had to hear all about how Eric had dinner with you, cocky French bastard,” he said, after breaking the kiss.
She went still in his arms at the mention of Eric’s name, and Luke wondered if there was more there than he realized. The thought made him uncomfortable. Claire wouldn’t cheat. He trusted her completely. Eric was a different story. They had a code, but fidelity hadn’t been high on either of their lists, at least not until lately. He was too tired to figure any of it out right now. He couldn’t see past Claire naked in his bed.
“Can we go home, please?”
Homehung in the air between them. He watched as she wrestled with her answer, sagging with relief as she swiped at her eyes and nodded.
“Yes.”
