“Or worry about the roots drying out. I imagine it’s a little like playing God trying to control everything, but still it’s a fantastic idea. Have you read any of Bill Mollison’s permaculture work?”
“Yes,” said Julie, a smile lighting up her face. “His work is genius. That kind of integrated symbiotic system is exactly what I’m thinking about but with fish and in an urban setting close to the population.”
The three women talked back and forth and sometimes over each other in their excitement. Every so often, Gabe injected a comment, but when Julie looked up, it was to smile at him. He’d do anything in his power to keep that look on her face.
“CAN YOU TELL me more about what happened with your father after I left for Paris?” he asked when they were sitting back in the dining room of Comme Ci.
Julie took a bite of her warm greens with chevre and for a moment Eric wasn’t sure if she would answer him.
“I don’t like to talk about it. It makes me feel bitter, and I don’t like that part of myself.”
He waited, forking up a bite of his own greens, and she blew out a breath.
“You saw a little bit of how he was with Caleb,” she said. “My brother was never a saint, but at least in Daddy’s eyes, he couldn’t do anything wrong. It didn’t matter that he was lazy or selfish; he was the son. And who knows, maybe Caleb is Caleb because of the way out father treated him. If Momma had still been alive, maybe he wouldn’t have had such a sense of entitlement.”
He could tell talking about her family made her uncomfortable, but if they were going to have a future together then they needed to share all of each other not just the parts that cleaned up nicely.
“The farm was always hard on Daddy. Farming is hard on everyone, well maybe with the exception of farms like Meredith,” she said, considering. “When he decided he wanted out, he asked Caleb if he wanted to take over. My brother is allergic to work, physical work anyway. He said no, so my father sold the farm to the developers who’d been after him to sell for years.”
“Did you tell him you wanted it?” Eric had known even back then all those years ago how important that land was to her. Surely her own father had known, too.
“It didn’t matter. I wasn’t the son,” she said and her voice took on an edge. “See there is the bitter part, but yes I did tell him.”
Their server came to clear the plates and set the petit egg gratins in front of them. They ate a few bites in silence before she spoke again.
“When the farm was gone, I needed to go, too. I couldn’t stay so close to everything I wanted but couldn’t have, and I couldn’t watch them put up strip malls and houses on the fields we’d planted and harvested. I went off to college and tried not to look back.”
Eric scraped his ramekin, cataloguing minor modifications that needed to be made to the dish before it was ready to go on the menu. He could tell talking made Julie feel raw. He wanted to know everything about her, but the last thing he wanted to do was push her so hard she shut him out. He waited until the server cleared their plates and brought them the chicken dish before he asked the question he most wanted an answer to.
“Why did you come back? How in the world didyouend up working for Caleb?”
“I’m not sure.” She stopped, and he could see her considering his question. “That’s not true. At first it was because my father needed me. I know,” she said, holding up her hand. “But he sunk almost everything he had, the total proceeds from the sale of the farm into Caleb’s brilliant startup. See there’s the bitter part again.”
“You’re allowed to be hurt, cher. You were mistreated.”
Her eyes went wide, and he could see she hadn’t thought if it in terms that black and white, but that’s what it was. Her father, the man who was supposed to nurture and cherish her had mistreated her instead.
“It didn’t matter what happened, he was my father. Caleb was running the business into the ground. Daddy was going to lose everything. He told me to come home, and I did.”
“Hetoldyou to come home?” Eric couldn’t understand how a man – any man but especially a father – could be that selfish.
If he was ever lucky enough to have a daughter of his own, he’d do everything he could to take care of her and make sure her dreams came true, not tie her to the mast of a sinking ship. An image of a little girl with Julie’s chestnut hair and hazel eyes popped into his head, but instead of running from the idea, Eric gave himself a moment to consider it. The idea held more appeal than he’d ever imagined.
“Caleb and my father can both be very persuasive. Anyway, I came home and tried to keep Caleb from running the business out of money. It wasn’t that bad,” she said and then laughed. “Yes it was. It was that bad, and you saw the rest of it. I’m out now. I did more than my fair share. Whatever happens now is up to them.”
Eric reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb over the center of her palm. He could tell she meant what she said. Caleb had burned his bridges with his sister. What he couldn’t tell was how much cutting her brother and her father out of her life was going to cost her and how long it would be before she was truly safe.
