8
SLOANE
Pops sits beside me the next morning with his hands folded in his lap, posture straight like he’s still in charge of something. Like if he keeps his shoulders back and his chin up, his body will follow orders.
Cameron paces.
He tries not to, but he does—three steps toward the vending machines, three steps back. He checks his phone like the screen holds answers. He cracks his knuckles. He rolls his shoulders. He looks like he’s warming up for a game.
Logan isn’t here since he has rehab this morning.
It’s better that way.
That thought should make me feel relieved.
It doesn’t.
It makes my stomach twist.
I keep my eyes on the double doors down the hall that lead to the oncology wing. The ones we’ve walked through so many times that they might as well have our fingerprints memorized. The ones I used to walk through with a plan.
Chemo day. Blood work day. Scan day.
I used to treat it like a schedule I could master.
If I did everything right—if I asked the right questions, tracked the side effects, counted the days, enforced the rules—then maybe we could cheat the ending.
My phone buzzes in my pocket.
A text from Jade pops up.
Jade: u ok?? practice later?
I stare at it until the words go blurry.
I don’t respond.
I can’t respond.
Because if I type anything at all, I’ll admit it. I’ll put it into the world. And once it’s in the world, it’s real.
A nurse appears in the doorway and calls our name.
My chest tightens like I’m bracing for impact.
Pops stands first.
Always.
Cameron stops pacing and falls into step beside him, shoulders squared. He looks at Pops like he can protect him with his body if he stands close enough.
I walk behind them, because if I walk beside Pops, I’ll grab his hand, and I won’t let go, and then I’ll start crying, and I refuse to do that in a hallway full of strangers.
We get led into a small room with a desk, a computer monitor, three chairs, and a box of tissues placed so deliberately on the corner of the desk it might as well be a warning sign.
The doctor comes in a few minutes later.
Dr. Patel.
