“You didn’t answer my question!” I call after her.
The front door closes.
Rolling my eyes with exasperation, I go back to the monumental task of figuring out how much food thirty people will eat, but I’m immediately interrupted when my phone chimes.
Fallon: Miss me?
A goofy smile curves my mouth when I read his text. He said he had to take care of some business stuff with Trevor and Aurora and would meet us at the Fields later. He stayed over again last night. It was nice waking up to him curled around me in bed. The morning orgasms were even better. But the simple act of being with him, sitting out on the back veranda and watching the sunrise over coffee, then having breakfast with the kids, was my favorite part of this morning.
Fallon helps fill those chasms that had been left empty for so long after Ryder passed away. This morning, the kitchen was filled with happy laughter and loud talking. Smiles and hugs andplayful banter. It felt so damn good to have that again. To have a home that is filled with those noises and those feelings.
Me: Tremendously. Don’t work too hard.
Fallon: Tell that to Trev and A.
Me: We’ll leave here around six and head on over.
Christopher asked if he could drive my car tonight. It’ll be fun seeing Stella II tear up the track once again.
Fallon: Hey, Kitten?
Me: Yes?
Fallon: Love you.
Once he spoke those life-changing words, the floodgates opened, and he’s not shy about telling me. He gives me the gift of those words so freely and never expects anything in return.
I watch the sunlight glint off the pale yellow diamonds of my wedding rings as my thumb hovers over the screen’s QWERTY board.
I love you, too,I type before deleting it and replying,
See you tonight .
Setting down the phone, I brace my hands on the quartz counter and stare out the window at the magnolia tree down the hill. I’m ready to move on. I want to be with Fallon. So why is it so hard for me to tell him that I love him?
Movement in the distance snags my attention. My brow furrows when I see the shape of a person standing next to Ryder’s grave, then dips even lower in confusion when I recognize the person’s profile.
Not bothering to slip on sandals, I head outside, the grass soft beneath my bare feet as I walk down the hill. A few gray cumulus clouds dot the sky, and the air is heavy, laden with a type of humidity that foretells rain is on its way. People often say they can smell rain. It’s not a lie. Nature takes on this damp, musky odor.
As I get closer, Jayson bows his head, and his voice carries along the wind as he talks, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. Sensing me, he looks up, and my footsteps falter at the devastation etched on his face.
“What are you doing here?”
I haven’t heard from him since we talked yesterday, so seeing him here, now, is unexpected.
“I’ll leave if you want to be alone with him,” Jayson replies, and my worry compounds when I notice his red-rimmed eyes.
Taking his face between my hands, I hold his teary gaze in place. “Are you okay?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
I don’t detect any alcohol on his breath, and I hate that was the first assumption that popped into my head.
“Whatever it is you’re struggling with, you don’t have to face it alone. Talk to me. Let me be the place where you feel safe.”
He drops his forehead to mine and releases a pent-up breath. “You were always my safe place, Liz. I wasn’t yours.”
“Yes, you were,” I tell him, remembering all the times he crawled through my window and held me until I fell asleep. All the times he comforted me when I missed Dad when he went on tour for extended periods of time. The way he took care ofme when Maria broke my heart and told me she was never my friend.
