Jay glances over at me, then does it again.
“Whatever it is that you want to say, Jay, just say it.”
I’ve been in a foul disposition all evening. After having to negotiate a contract from hell, my mood went from irritated to irate when I arrived and found Jay laughing with Elizabeth in the kitchen as they cooked dinner together. She’s about to leave…with him…and I won’t see her for three days. All I wanted was a quiet evening curled up with her on the couch.
“Can we cut the bullshit attitude? Your doom and gloom all evening is giving me a headache. And don’t think Liz hasn’t noticed either.”
Fuck you.
But I hate hearing that I’m making her worry, especially with her trip to see her daughter coming up. A trip I wish I could be with her for, but I understand that it’s something she and Jay need to do together.
And just like that, my irritation with him evaporates into the ether. I can’t imagine the pain he must live in daily. He and Elizabeth lost their child. A child they never knew existed. Onestolen from them because of my sadistic brother’s obsession with Elizabeth.
So in a twisted way, I caused Elizabeth Ann’s death. Peter only fixated on Elizabeth because ofmyfixation on her.
“Take the jet.”
Jay’s brow furrows. “I already bought the plane tickets.”
“I know that.” Elizabeth told me. She also keeps turning down my offer to use my private jet, probably because she thinks it’ll cause problems with him. “I’ll pay you back.”
The furrow on his forehead deepens. “I don’t want your damn money. You can’t always buy what you want.”
The irritation that had just left comes back tenfold, but this time it’s accompanied with indignation. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
“It’s what you always do,” he’s quick to refute.
Putting the glass down on the small patio side table, I sit forward. “I can’t help which family I was born into. And I will never apologize for the lifestyle I’m lucky enough to have because of the moneymy grandfathergave me or the moneyIwork my ass off to earn. The jet will be more comfortable, and you won’t have to wait around in a noisy, germ-infested airport lounge or spend an hour standing in the security line. This weekend is going to be hard enough on the both of you without having to put up with all that shit, too.”
Jay crosses his arms at his chest. The way he’s studying me is like he’s seeing me for the first time.
“I appreciate the offer. I’ll talk to Liz.”
“She already said no.”
His head tilts back when he laughs. “That woman has more stubborn in her than…and I’m not going to finish that thought.”
“That would be wise.” We grin at each other.
Jay sits back in the rocker. “Not to ruin our kumbaya moment or anything, and I don’t care if it ticks you off, but I need to know exactly where you and I stand with Liz.”
I knew this conversation was coming. “Christ, Jay. I don’t know what answer you want me to give you that won’t end up with us in a fistfight.”
“I’d appreciate the unfiltered truth. Are you going to be able to handle me being in her life again? Because if you can’t, you need to walk away. She’s been hurt enough by both of us.”
I give what he’s saying serious thought. “I’m not blind to your relationship or how important you are to Elizabeth. I’ve always known what the deal was when it comes to you, her, and Ry. I don’t have the history with her that you do. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m all in. You and me, our past, and any of the other shit between us—it doesn’t exist anymore. We bury that crap right here, right now.”
“Agreed.” He clasps his hands in front of him, elbows to thighs, as if the weight of the world has suddenly crashed upon his shoulders. “I just want to be in her life again. In Jules’s and my nephews’ lives. I’ve missed out on too damn much. My habit of reacting first without giving any thought to the consequences of my actions has cost me everything. I don’t want to be that guy anymore. No, Irefuseto be that guy. The one who inadvertently hurts the people he loves. And by some miracle of God, Liz has forgiven me. I’m not abandoning her again. I’m here to stay.”
My tone brokers no argument when I reply, “So am I.”
“Guess we understand each other.”
“Guess we do.”
Elizabeth comes out onto the veranda, her hands on her hips. “Do I need to pull out the water hose and separate you two?”
Pushing on his thighs, Jay gets up. “It’s getting late, and I promised Jules I’d stop by on my way to Mom and Dad’s.” He hugs Elizabeth with an ease that has my possessiveness kickingin, but I quickly shut it down. “See you in the morning? Around eight?”
