“About last night?—”
“I’m sorry—” I cut in.
Julien covers my mouth with his hand. “Let me finish.”
“Shutting up now,” I mumble through his slitted fingers.
He pulls his hand away and tenderly cups my cheek. “Don’t think for one second that my motives for wanting you to move in are influenced by anything other than my desire to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Well, damn. Insides completely melted.
Instantly ensnared by the beauty of his declaration, I lean forward and kiss him.
Giving a voice to my fear, I admit, “I’m scared.”
Since coming to CU, I found a strength inside myself that I never knew existed. A love for who I am. I know I can survive without him. I just don’t want to. Forever love, soulmate love, is rare to find, so when you do, you fight like hell to keep it.
“What are you afraid of?”
Feeling that I need to put it out there, not as an ultimatum but to let him know where I stand, I reply, “I’m scared of losing you, but I’m more scared of losing myself again. I can’t go through a repeat of last year.”
Julien touches my chest with a slight brush of his fingers, drawing a heart over the area where the fragile yet resilient organ beats a love song for only him.
With a gentle press of his lips, he replies, “I will protect this. Love it just as fiercely as I love you. It’s safe with me, Elijah.”
The sincerity of his words hangs in the air, weaving invisible threads that stitch the tears that my worries created. I just hope those threads are strong enough to hold.
Chapter Six
ELIJAH
Tappingthe touchpad at the end of my lane, I pop up from the water and rip the swim goggles from my eyes. Jayson’s smug smile is the first thing I see.
“Took you long enough.”
After a quick glance at the digital board that displays the times, I groan when I see he was over two seconds faster. Infuriating ass.
Hooking my arms over the lane rope, I use it like a buoy to give my rubbery legs a rest while I catch my breath.
“Bite me. You didn’t run ten miles this morning.”
Jayson pulls in faster times in freestyle, no matter the distance, than anyone else on the CU swim team. And that’s without him training. God knows how fast he’d be if he did. Olympic worthy for sure.
I’ve broached the subject—several times—of why he doesn’t take Director Winters’s offer to come back. A golden-ticket opportunity like that only happens with Willy Wonka. The onlycaveat is that it wouldn’t include the scholarship Jayson was originally offered.
Jayson joins me at the rope, propping his chin to his crossed arms. “Are you going to watch Jules’s practice later?”
“Hadn’t planned to. Why?”
I go from time to time to watch from the bleachers, usually when they have something planned afterward because Julien wants me there. Last Thursday, we went to Belly’s for their karaoke night. Nothing more hilarious than watching a bunch of tipsy guys trying to sing Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” I hadn’t been back there since… nope. Not going there.
“Want to do something?” Small eruptions of water burst up as Jayson kicks his feet.
“I thought you’d be spending time with Liz.”
He scowls. “So did I. I drove by her apartment this morning. She didn’t answer, and her car wasn’t there. Stupid fucking Hellcat,” he mumbles.
“Have you tried texting her?” Not the most helpful suggestion because that would’ve been one of the first things he’d do.
