Harper flags Morrison down for another round. Turning in her stool, she leans her elbows back against the bar and takes in the room. Some local band is supposed to play tonight on the small stage, and it seems half of Woodspire has come out to listen to them. Mickey’s is already packed, and there’s a line at the front door waiting to get inside. Of course, the bouncer immediately recognized Harper and let us in without us having to wait.
“So, here’s what we’re going to do about Jorey.”
I groan. Anytime she prefaces a thought with“here’s what we’re going to do,”it usually spells trouble for me. Add“Jorey”into the mix, and…
“We’renot going to do anything.”
Morrison slides over two more shots, and I grab mine, tipping it back and enjoying the peach aftertaste the alcohol leaves behind as it burns a path down my esophagus. I’m a lightweight, so am already feeling the fuzzy effects from the first drink.
“I agree with Natalie. I think you need to give him a chance.”
She’s been saying that for over a week. I knew telling Harper about what happened between Jordan and me the night of the thunderstorm would come back to bite me on the ass.
I turn incredulous eyes at her. “Have you forgotten everything I’ve told you that happened between us?”
“That was before I knew it was him. He’s not that guy. I swear he’s not. Jordan is a good man.”
“I wish everyone would stop saying that.”
I wiggle my empty glass at Morrison, silently asking for another. I’ll stop at three and drink water for the rest of the night.
Harper leans in. “It’s the truth. You don’t know how bad things got with him. He made a terrible, horrible mistake he doesn’t remember even making because he was drunk. He’s trying to make up for it. I think you need to give him the chance.”
I also made a terrible, horrible mistake, which Idoremember.
I gulp down my third shot as soon as Morrison hands it to me.
“A man doesn’t come over to a woman’s house every morning if he’s not a hundred percent invested. Just give him a chance. That’s all I’m asking,” she persists.
“You are forbidden from saying chance for the rest of the night.”
She huffs. “Dee—”
“Harper, please drop it.”
“I’ll drop it—”
“Thank you.”
“—for now.” She takes my glass, turning it upside down on the bar top and lowers her voice to a whisper so no one around us can hear. “But I honestly think you two would be perfect together. He needs someone like you in his life. Someone who understands and can accept who he is, flaws and all.”
Just like with mistakes, I’m also tied with Jordan in flaws. Harper doesn’t know about my suicide attempt, only Mason does, but she does know about my struggles with bulimia. If she only knew the whole truth about everything, she’d be ashamed of me.
I’ve been debating back and forth all day about telling Jordan everything. I know I need to. For almost two weeks, I would promise myself that today is the day. Then today turns into tomorrow, and tomorrow turns into the day after.
My stupid conscience keeps poking a pointy finger in my side, reminding me of all the wonderful things Jordan has done for me and how he never expects anything in return. It can be something big like the driving lesson or loaning me his car so I don’t waste money on a rental—a car I’m still driving because I’ve fallen in love with it, and Jordan hasn’t asked me to return it.
It can also be something small like coming over every morning to cook Natalie and me breakfast, helping Natalie out around the house, or going with me to the grocery store and not complaining when I take too long debating over every item I put inside the cart. It can be something sweet like the dance in the rain. Something inconsequential said during a casual conversation, but he remembered regardless. Actions really do speak louder than words.
Harper and Natalie are right: Jordan is a good man. I witness it every day. But everything in my head contracts down to that night. A night I can’t forget, and one Jordan can’t remember.
That one night gave me a chance to be with the man I’d been hopelessly in love with since I was fourteen, even if it was only for a scant few hours.
It was also the night where I almost died.
I look at my friend, who has been so kind to me since the day we met, and I experience a great sadness that I may lose her friendship. Will she understand why I’ve kept my secret for so long? Why I told Mason and not her?
Harper hops off her stool, her long ponytail swinging. “I need to go to the ladies’ room. Want to come with?”
