He swipes a hand through his wet hair, pushing it off his face and causing droplets to scatter everywhere.
“Did you want to come in and dry off?” I ask.
We’re both a muddy mess. I’ll need to get the garden hose and spray my feet off before I walk back inside the house.
He looks at me for a beat, then shakes his head no.
“I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.”
We stare intently at each other.Ask me to stay, his gaze says, while mine begs,Please don’t go.
Wanting to end the evening on a friendly note, even though the weight of sadness is tugging at my heart, I tell him, “Thank you for the dance.”
He skims the back of his hand down the side of my face. “Anytime, sweetheart.”
It’s ridiculous how happy it makes me to hear him call me that.
“What are your plans for the weekend?”
I blink. “Um, Harper and I are hanging out.”
I’m actually really looking forward to our girls’ night out together. I’m meeting up with her tomorrow at her gallery for a tour and then lunch after.
Jordan nods. “I might see you around then.”
I nibble on my lip. “Maybe.”
Because I know I’ll try to avoid him if I can. I need time to regroup. To rebuild those walls tall and thick, brick by excruciating brick.
With a final deep, penetrating look, Jordan walks away. Instead of going through the back door, he heads around the side of the house, but stops when he gets to the corner.
“Douglass?”
“Yeah?”
“This isn’t over between us.”
As soon as he disappears from view, I roughly rub the tender area over the left side of my chest above my heart. Blowing out a huff of expelled air, I startle when I see Natalie watching from the open screened door, a huge smile on her face.
“I hope you’re in the mood for a salad because the steaks are ruined.”
I grab the hose, turn the spigot, and rinse the mud off my calves and feet.
“He’s a good man, Douglass. Give him a chance.”
I want to. God, how I want to.
No matter how much I hate him, I can’t stop loving him. If you think about it, love and hate are coined from the same emotion. You can’t have one without the other. There’s an old saying about the fine line between the two for a reason.
I search the clouds overhead. Mom, what do I do? She never answers me, but it doesn’t stop me from seeking out her guidance.
As I watch the brown rivulets of mud run down my feet and soak into the ground, I come to a decision.
It’s time I tell Jordan about that night.
It’s time I tell him everything.
I just don’t know how.
