He stumbles back into the coffee table but keeps his balance.
When a loud thud sounds behind me, I look over to find Chase, Mason, Mike, and Harper standing in a huddle outside the archway, watching the scene unfold. With a pissed-off narrowing of my eyes, they scatter in different directions.
A wave of exhaustion hits me as the adrenaline begins to ebb. I’m existing on no sleep and nothing but an apple I ate for breakfast. I can feel the crash coming, but I still have so much to do before I can rest my head and try to get a couple of hours of fitful sleep. Chase opened his house to me and will give me a roof over my head and a warm bed until Natalie returns. It’s not like I want to stay here, a place where Amelia also lived. But I don’t have enough money in my bank account to pay for an extended stay at even the cheapest motel.
Turning back to Jordan, I say as calmly as possible, “I can’t do this with you right now. Go back to Daniella.”
Jealousy burns me like a brand. I’m not proud of the way I’m behaving. But I can regret things tomorrow.
“Goodbye, Jordan.”
Pain lances up my arms as Jordan’s fingers wrap around each wrist and wrench them behind my back. My sock-clad feet suddenly lift off the Berber rug and then I’m free-falling onto the couch with Jordan’s lean, muscled body falling on top of me. Every molecule of air gets forced right out of my lungs in a whoosh.
And then he’s kissing me, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. And God help me, I kiss him back. Because I’m weak for him. Because I can’t stop loving him, even if he doesn’t love me.
“Never goodbye. You’re not leaving me because I won’t let you,” he says between punishing kisses that bruise my lips and make me crave him even more. “I love you. I love you so damn much.” His mouth takes mine, harder this time. More ravenous and demanding. “That’swhat I told Danni. If you don’t believe me, ask her.”
Hope pours in, cementing the cracks that have appeared over the past several hours. I want to believe him. I want to erase every bad moment from the last twenty-four hours and go back to Jordan and me in bed when he made love to me and spoke words of the same.
Thankfully, he releases my arms, which had started to go numb, so his hands can cradle my face, deepening our kiss, his tongue taking possession of mine with rough, sensual strokes.
“I don’t know what you think you heard, but you’re so damn wrong if you don’t think I love you. You’re the one for me, Douglass. You’re my sweet, beautiful forever. I want your blue journal to be filled with every happy memory of our life together. I want to be your Wishing Tree.”
The dam of tears I’d been holding back bursts wide open when he mentions my journals that got destroyed in the fire and the Wishing Tree. And it’s ugly. I’ve heard people say they “ugly cried,” but I never really understood what it meant until now. It’s a snotty, blotched-face, gasping, sobbing, sweaty mess.
And through it all, Jordan holds me and kisses me and tells me he loves me. And that right there is the wish I wrote on every paper star I ever hung on the old oak tree.
Jordan shifts us to our sides and snuggles me to him. Wiping away my tears and smoothing back my hair, he says, “As second fights go, that wasn’t so bad.”
Sniffling, I reply, “That was our first fight. The other time was a disagreement.”
He smiles so charmingly. “That’s right. I forgot. Oh, and you were right. Your phone did give mine the flu.”
“Sorry about that. My new phone has been acting up as well. Maybe we’re jinxed.”
My eyelids get heavy as his body heat soaks into me, dispelling the chill.
Lips kiss my forehead. “Do you want to talk or go to sleep?”
Sleep would be nice.
“Talk,” I reply.
And we do.
I slowly wake to a warm, heavy weight draped over my chest and Jordan’s sky-blue eyes looking down at me. I’m still half-tucked underneath him on the sofa, which should be uncomfortable but surprisingly isn’t. I don’t remember falling asleep, but apparently, I did at some point during our conversation. He told me what happened with Danni, and I filled him in about the fire and what Chief O’Connell said. We also called Natalie. With the time difference, she was already awake and having breakfast. She was more worried about me than the house. But we had a good cry and with Jordan’s assurances, she agreed to stay in Europe and finish her trip. Her tour group will be in Paris for another day before heading to Luxembourg the day after tomorrow.
“Hi.”
“Hi back.”
It’s our thing.
I reach up and trace the features of his handsome face, stopping to play with his morning stubble. I thought, even if it was for a few short hours, that I’d never get to touch him like this again. Funny how a handful of minutes can feel like forever.
Jordan’s finger roams back and forth over the skin exposed at the top of my Woodspire High football team jersey Chase let me borrow last night so I wouldn’t smell like smoke. Unfortunately, I can still smell it in my hair, but Jordan hasn’t said anything, so it must be more psychosomatic on my part, or remnants of the dream I just woke up from. I was stuck inside the house, locked in my room and not able to get the door or window open, as everything around me went up in flames. In the background, I could hear Amelia’s delighted laughter as I screamed for help.
I bury my nose in Jordan’s neck, needing to replace the stench of smoke and fire with the scent of him.
