I don’t want to cause a scene in front of everyone, so I cup her elbow and help her to stand.
“Inside. Now.”
Danni and I have known each other for two years. She’s seen me at my worst, and vice versa. We’ve worked side-by-side for just as long. I trust Danni implicitly. Which is why I’m so taken aback by what she said. I’m looking at my friend, and I don’t recognize her.
My steps are long and swift as I march us into the house and through the kitchen. Once we get to the hallway and I’m sure no one will be able to hear us from outside, I stop and plant my curled fists to my hips.
“What the hell, Daniella?” I don’t use her nickname on purpose.
“What?”
“You know exactly what. Why would you say something like that?”
We have a stare-down for a solid five minutes where neither of us says anything. Five minutes of heated glares and pursed, angry mouths. Danni is the first to break.
She throws her arms up in the air. “Why her? What’s so special about her?” Daniella shouts.
I guess we’re going straight to yelling and fighting.
Her questions are petty ones that deserve no response. I could pontificate until the world ends about how wonderful, sexy, kind, and amazing Douglass is, but I’m pretty sure it would go through one ear and out the other.
“Are you that desperate and lonely that you’d stoop to sleeping withher? Amelia’s replacement? If you wanted someone to warm your bed, I’m right here, Jordan! I’ve been here every day for two years.”
Her admission tilts me off-center. It almost sounds like… no. Danni and I are friends. Close friends, but nothing more.
I stare dumbfounded, clicking back through the last two years, trying to find any instance I may have led her on or gave her hope for more, and find none.
Her face crumples and tears spill, leaving streaks of black mascara smudging her face like a Rorschach inkblot.
Swiping at her eyes and making the smears even worse, she brokenly sobs, “I never thought I’d be able to love another man after Patrick. But I do. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a while, and I’ve spent over a year trying to get you to see that. Why can’t you see that?”
I didn’t. But even if I did, it wouldn’t have mattered because I was never interested in Danni in that way. Not sexually or romantically. The other women I slept with over the years were results of either drunken nights or, when I was sober, to scratch an itch. I didn’t have feelings for them. I didn’t love them like I love Douglass.
I go to reach for her hand but don’t. I can’t touch her in any way right now, not even a friendly, platonic hug. Any form of contact will lead to mixed signals; therefore, I make myself take a step back, creating extra distance between us. I don’t know what to do without making things worse.
“Danni, you’re one of my dearest friends.”
She’s livid. “You and I are more than friends and you know it! Do you love her? Do you? Tell me!”
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Danni.”
She sees the truth in my eyes. Yes, I love Douglass. More than I ever thought possible. More than I ever thought I could love another person.
I stand in uncomfortable quietude as I watch my friend fall to pieces in front of me. It makes me feel like a complete bastard.
After several agonizing minutes, Danni raises her tear-ravaged face from her hands, her eyes wide with remorse.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
Taking out my phone, I do a quick online search for any AA meeting happening tonight. I can’t leave Danni in a distraught emotional state. Those tend to lead to bad decisions for people like us. I glance at the text from Harper saying she and Bennett have left for the airport before blacking the screen.
“But you did, and we need to deal with it. We’re also going to an AA meeting. There’s one at eight in Hopper Springs. Go grab your stuff so we can go. Starting tomorrow, you’re on an extended personal leave with full pay and benefits. You haven’t taken any vacation this year, and I think it would be good for you. Go home and see your parents. Surround yourself with family. I think it would also be good if you talked to Dr. Robbins.”
Dr. Robbins is the therapist she’s been seeing since her fiancé died.
Alarmed, she asks, “Are you firing me?”
