The house comes into view when we crest the hill and break through the copse of live oak trees that shade this part of the path.
I dismiss her concern when I raise our joined hands to my lips and kiss her wrist.
“You didn’t overstep. And it is your business. I just don’t have an answer to give you that won’t make me sound like a billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”
Her snort of laughter is adorable. “You did not just quote Tony Stark.”
She got theAvengersreference. This woman is perfect for me.
“Let’s just say I’m still trying to figure things out,” I tell her.
She leans into my side as we walk, and I let go of her hand to wrap my arm around her. She loops her arm around my waist and rests her head on my upper arm.
“I’m still trying to figure things out as well. It’s not like I envisioned my life’s career to be a barmaid. But I’m looking forward to starting work at Mickey’s on Wednesday. It’ll be nice to have something to do other than home repairs while Natalie’s away.”
Her working for Mike and Mickey won’t be for long if I can do anything about it. I had Daniella set up a meeting next week with the president and dean of Rice University. Overstepping my bounds knowing full well how she hates charity of any kind? Maybe. But I can’t sit by and do nothing when I know I can make one of her dreams come true.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I brush a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m an open book, sweetheart.”
“Is it hard for you being at Mickey’s, with… you know?”
Even though she doesn’t flat out say, “Because you’re a recovering alcoholic,” all I can think isfinally. She finally asked me. I had been waiting for her to ask me about my drinking. It’s a huge part of who I am, and her inquiring about it, instead of saying it’s none of her business, means she’s invested in me and in this relationship. She wants to know all of me, just like I want to understand all of her.
“Honestly? No. I think it’s because Mickey’s isn’t a bar or a restaurant to me. It has always felt like a second home. Growing up, I spent more time there than I did here at the house.”
“Is it hard for you to be around people when they drink?” she asks next.
“Not at all, for me anyway. I know that’s not true for other alcoholics. I haven’t touched a drink in years. Haven’t wanted to. Am I tempted sometimes? Yes. But I don’t ever want to go back to that dark place again. Danni would also kick my ass.” I chuckle.
“Danni?”
That’s right. They haven’t met yet.
“Daniella, but I call her Danni. We met in AA and just clicked. Have been friends ever since. She works for me now, and I honestly think the house would fall to pieces if she wasn’t running it. I’ll introduce you to her later.”
“Do you still go to AA?”
“Danni and I go together at least once a month,” I reply.
Douglass turns in my arm to step in front of me, halting my forward momentum. I drink in the dewiness of her pale skin and the smattering of freckles that dot her nose and cheeks.
“What made you cross that line?”
That thin imaginary line between getting drunk for fun at a high school party and needing to drink because I couldn’t handle living in the real world without it. Craving it. Letting it consume me and control me because getting my next taste was the only thing I could think about. Nothing else.
“When I found Amelia and Chase in bed together. My fiancée and my best friend. I’d been struggling with the loss of Mom and Jack. I lost two other people that day when I found them together. I just wanted the pain to stop. I didn’t want to feel anymore. So I let alcohol take it all away until I felt nothing anymore.”
The memory of finding Amelia and Chase fucking in her bed doesn’t cause the agonizing tightening in my chest like it used to. My heart beats for only one woman now and has no room left for bitter regrets.
“Jesus, Jordan. I’m so sorry.”
Douglass raises on tiptoe and circles her arms around my neck, her light kisses over my face erasing every thought until all that remains is her.
When we finally pull apart, Douglass cups my face and says, “Thank you for telling me.”
I pick at a strand of her hair that’s stuck to her cheek with dried sweat. “Anytime you have questions, I will always tell you the truth.”
