Leaning over, I kiss his dry, chapped lips. I remember the first time he kissed me. I was thirteen and he was fifteen. It was on my birthday, a life event that was never celebrated in the Rossi home. No party. No card. No hugs or kisses from my parents. No “Happy Birthday” song. Kellan, however, would surprise me every year with a cupcake and a present he wrapped himself. It was usually a book. He knew how much I loved to read. Books were the only escape I had from the cruel world I lived in. My safe place I could go to when Max would come at night or when he locked me inside the cage. During those times, I would retreat into the make-believe worlds of my books. Drift away to a place where the hero always saved the day, and there was a happy ever after at the end.
On my thirteenth birthday, Rafe cornered me in the kitchen when I came downstairs to get something to eat, much like he did a week ago in the pantry at the cabin. He pulled a crushed pink rose from where he’d hidden it in his back pocket and tucked the stem of the flower in my hair behind my ear.
“Happy Birthday, mi dulce rosa.”And then he cupped the sides of my face and softly kissed me. I hadn’t been prepared for it or its effect. Where I had known nothing but pain at Max’s hands, Rafe showed me gentleness. His kiss helped mend a few of my broken pieces that Max had destroyed.
Growing up, I’d had such a huge crush on him, Keane, and Jax. But Rafe, with his blue eyes, tanned skin, dark hair, and slight accent intrigued me the most. I don’t know when I started looking at the guys as more than just Kellan’s best friends. Perhaps it’s because they were basically the only guys near my age I knew since Max kept me on a tight leash. I had no friends, even at school. I was a prisoner in my own house. Kellan and the guys were my only companions. That’s why I insinuated myself into their group and tagged along to wherever or whatever they did when I could. It annoyed the shit out of them, especially Keane, but they never told me no.
Things began to change when Jax started living with us. That’s when Rafe’s interest in me became apparent. Maybe it was a territorial thing. Maybe Rafe knew back then that his two best friends saw me as more than Kellan’s little sister, and he wanted to claim me first. Who knows? But his one sweet kiss on my birthday was only the beginning. I fell in love with Rafe that day. And I’ve loved Rafe ever since, even when he broke my heart. Even when I hated him, I still loved him.
Fingering our bracelet that’s still on my wrist, I make a promise to Rafe. “I swear to you, I will make them suffer when I kill them,” I tell him, kissing his unresponsive lips one last time.
“Let Declan or Keane and Jax handle Julio and Alejandro.”
“If I wanted your advice, Kellan, I’d ask for it,” I snap at him.
“I’m scared for you, Tinker Bell. I’m scared of who you’re becoming.”
Why won’t he fucking leave me alone now? I don’t need him anymore. I don’t need his ghost stalking around purgatory only to pop up and haunt me whenever it’s convenient for him.
“And who would that be?” I ask angrily, willing him away.
“Our father.”
“He’s not my goddamn father!” I shout at the now-empty corner of the room.
“Andie,” Declan’s unsure voice says from the doorway.
I protectively hunch over Rafe’s body, wanting to shield him from the world. Not wanting anyone to get near him.
Declan’s hand covers mine which are still clinging to Rafe’s. I don’t want his concern or sympathy. I want the world to burn.
Declan stands beside me, and I can feel his other hand hovering at my back before he finally drops it to his side.
“How can I help?” he asks. “You’re clearly hurting. Tell me what to do to ease your pain. What would a father do for his daughter?”
This is all new territory for the both of us. This new father-daughter reality we’ve both been thrust into. He’s been trying to let me navigate my own way, my own path, and it’s something I’m appreciative of. But like last time when I was blind-sided with the forced marriage arrangement Max made with Julio, I feel unsure of what to do next. Nothing has turned out the way I’d planned. Not with Max, not with the guys, and not tonight.
Tonight was supposed to be easy. Lure Julio and Alejandro out with me as bait, and then kill them. Instead, I was once again outmaneuvered, and my hubris almost cost Rafe his life.
“Rafe and I used to be together.”
Pulling up a chair, Declan sits beside me as I keep vigil. “I assumed that was the case. A man doesn’t turn his back on everything unless he has good reason. Love is a very powerful motivator.”
“It’s complicated,” I reply.
“Everything in life is. If it was easy, life would be a very boring existence.”
I release a mirthless chuckle. “My life is definitely not boring.”
We sit in silence for a while as my mind processes things.
“How’s Sarah settling in?” I ask him.
“She’s having fun. Hannah and Eoghan live on a farm, so they’ve been letting her help tend and feed the animals. Apparently, she now has a pet rooster that follows her around everywhere.”
I smile at that. It’s exactly what I wanted for her. A place where she would be safe and happy.
“I’m glad.” I’m also too much of a mess to call her right now. I know she’ll want to speak with her ‘uncles,’ and I can’t bring myself to tell her what happened to Rafe.
