“I’m sure. Send the message.”
Keane’s going to be pissed when he finds out what I’m up to, but Declan said it was ultimately my decision.
Tessa comically purses her mouth and holds a finger over the ENTER key like she’s about to press a button to trigger the detonation of a bomb.
“Send the damn message.” I laugh as she makes a whistling noise and then aboomwhen she hits the key.
“Done.” She slides her laptop over, rolls onto her stomach, and bends her legs so that her feet are in the air. “With everything going on, I feel like we haven’t gotten any time to catch up or talk.”
Tessa watches me try on an A-line cocktail dress with interest. I have a feeling that a lot of my new wardrobe will find its way into her closet. She and I used to swap clothes all the time at school.
“I know. All the stuff that happened at the cabin and what’s going on now. It’s a lot,” I reply, pushing the dress aside and dropping down beside her.
I consciously didn’t attempt to make friends at school and chose to spend most of my time alone. It was self-preservation. Not getting close to anyone meant they couldn’t ever hurt you. Tessa never noticed the walls I had up telling everyone to keep at a distance. If she did notice, she didn’t care. I remember the first day we met in the library at school. I was sitting by myself, per usual, in one of the back, darkened corners next to a window that looked out over the main quad. She appeared out of nowhere, sat down beside me, and started talking. I can’t even recall what we discussed that day, but we’ve been friends ever since.
Tessa tugs me over for a side hug. “I’ve missed you, Alex. I really am sorry for not telling you about Declan approaching me at school and what I was doing for him.” She pauses for a beat, and I can hear her throat make an audible gulp when she swallows.
Tessa was the only person I told my ugly secrets about Max to. It happened the night after finals when we celebrated by getting rip-roaring drunk. I totally blame my verbal vomit on the alcohol. If the shoe were on the other foot, and I found out she had been sexually abused, I’d blow up a few houses too in order to get her away from her abuser.
I peck the tip of her nose when she turns her face toward me. “Apology accepted,” I easily say.
I pretend to drop something imaginary into the palm of my hand and close a fist around it. She slaps her hand over my clenched fist, then I place my other hand over hers. It’s our way of saying that a conversation is done and buried, locked up tight and will never be brought up again.
“Oh! Completely forgot that I brought you a present. It’s in my laptop case.”
Tessa pops up off the bed and scurries out of the bedroom. When she comes back seconds later, she’s holding two small bottles of nail polish in one hand, a silver liquor flask in the other. I gaze at the flask and the nail polish covetously.
“You are a magical fairy godmother,” I tell her.
“Scoot to the headboard so I can do your nails.” She hands me the flask and I unscrew it, taking a sip of the Wild Turkey I know she put in there.
I sigh as the whiskey warms my throat and burns a trail to my stomach. “You don’t even want to know how many times in the past week I have longed for a proper mani-pedi.”
From her pocket, she takes out nail clippers and a file and settles in front of me. “Girl, your nails look awful,” she chides, taking my left hand and getting to work clipping and filing.
I may be a hard-ass most of the time, but I’m still a woman who enjoys girlie, feminine things.
Taking another sip from the flask, I nod in agreement. “The guys put me through the wringer.”
Her lips fold in on themselves and she peers up at me curiously from under her lashes. “Speaking of guys. Which one?”
Pretending to be clueless, I ask, “Which one, what?”
She huffs at my feigned ignorance. “Which one are you sleeping with? Seeing as we walked in with you standing beside a shirtless Jaxson West, my guess is it’s him. Am I right?”
I’m not sure if I’m ready for this conversation. But if there were anyone I trusted to help me navigate these fucked-up feelings I’m having about four men—three of whom I, not so long ago, was prepared to kill in order to avenge Kellan’s death—it’s her.
“All of them?” I reply as a question, cringing a little when I say it because it makes me sound like a sex-craved hussy.
I immediately silence that little moral voice inside my head and tell it to go fuck itself.
Tessa’s eyes go saucer-big, and she splutters, “Allof them?”
I wince again. “Kind of? I mean, if we’re getting all technical about it, I slept with Jax, and Rafe got me off a couple of times. I haven’t actually slept with Keane yet, but he did go down on me. And Liam and I—”
She shakes the bed with her belly laughter. “Holy shit!Holy shit, Alex!” More laughter. “You’re my goddamn hero,” she’s finally able to wheeze out while holding her stomach.
“You don’t think I’m a slut for messing around with four guys?”
