He hands me a cup of decaf coffee, his forefinger brushing lightly against my knuckles when I take the steaming cup from him. Everything he does feels like a subtle seduction, and I have to strengthen my resolve to not be affected by it.
“How did your meeting go with the realtor?”
I hold the mug with both hands as if I can use it as a shield against how JD is making me feel; it’s a confusing mixture of arousal and irritation.
“Really great, actually.” Talking business is something I can easily get behind. “Austin and I are going to prepare a proposal and budget for an idea I’ve been puttering around with, and hopefully have it done and in Fallon’s hands before he leaves at the end of the week.”
JD leans his elbows on the cushion at my knees and I scoot back into the couch to avoid him from touching me again.
“What’s your idea?” he asks me.
I take a sip of coffee. “I want to open a community music and arts center for kids and teens. Fallon has to approve it before we start approaching the city leaders, the mayor, the municipal board, council members, the zoning board…Sorry. Please stop me if I start to babble too much.”
JD props his chin on his double-fist, listening intently like what I’m saying is the most fascinating thing in the world. “Don’t stop. I want to know all about what you do.”
I squint my eyes at him and bite the inside of my bottom lip. “Um, well, I studied nonprofit management among other things while at Duke.”
He and I talked about going to Duke or Carolina University together. His first choice was CU, however. I know he never went to either. After months of trying to find him, my broken heart gave up and afterward, I was too angry to search anymore. I know I could have used my money to hire a private investigator or used Fallon’s connections. I chose not to. If someone wants so badly not to be found, then they just don’t want you, period.
Later, I learned through the Highland gossip mill that he was at Ohio State, and it was by accident that I heard he had been drafted in the NFL a couple of years ago. I went back to my dorm that day after I heard the draft pick announcement, locked myself in my room, and cried my eyes out. I cried tears of joy that his dream came true, but also cried tears of sorrow because his dream didn’t include me.
“After I graduated, I joined Fallon’s nonprofit and Austin came with me,” I finish.
“I really am proud of you, sunshine.”
“Thank you?” I say more in question because doing what I love shouldn’t come with accolades or recognition. I do it to help people, and that’s all that matters to me.
“The Austin thing kind of threw me. I wouldn’t have expected the two of you to have become so close.”
I put my coffee mug down on a coaster sitting on the side table next to me. “We weren’t until the summer after graduation.” I owe Austin my life, I don’t tell him. “We even have a pact to get married if we haven’t done so by the time we turn thirty.” I chuckle.
JD looks murderous at the thought, and I get a tiny thrill at his reaction.
“So, Candace is Connor’s mother?”
JD’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Prescott told me about your and Candace’s drunken night after Cam’s funeral,” I explain.
“Prez shouldn’t have said anything to you. He said he wouldn’t. Not until I had a chance to talk with you first.”
I sit up straighter, irritation coursing through my veins. “Well, too fucking bad, JD. That’s what friends do. They trust each other and they tell one another the truth. They don’t keep secrets.”
“I was never with Candace.”
“That makes absolutely no sense. Of course you were with her if you got her pregnant.”
He shakes his head at me. “That’s not what I’m talking about. Prescott told you about one drunken night before senior year started. A night I don’t remember, and one that was months before you and I got together.”
“JD, I feel like we’re tap-dancing around the truth. I don’t want to be rude, but you said you wanted to talk tonight. Let’s jump straight to the point. Get everything all out in the open, so I can move on.”
“With Knox?” he spits out, but I ignore his jealous reaction.
“Did you stay away because Candace gave birth to Connor?” He opens his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out. “It’s a yes or no question, JD.”
“Just give me a damn second. I do want to tell you everything, but I also want us to get to know one another again. There are too many years we’ve missed out on together.”
Now I get angry. “And whose fault is that?”
