She points to a small white and blue sailboat moored to one of the marina’s docks.
My kid goes nuts at the invitation. “Please, Daddy! Please, please,” he begs, jumping up and down like an excited terrier.
I look at Austin to see if he’s okay with this since it’s his boat, and he gives me a chin lift.
“If you’re sure we aren’t intruding,” I say to Aurora, but inside I’m reacting just like Connor is doing now.
She gives me one of her smiles, the one that lights me up with her sunshine, hence the nickname I call her by.
“I guess we’re going sailing,” I say to my son.
Chapter 42
It takes a while to remove the boat cover and get everything ready to take the vessel out. By the time Austin and I are done with the preparations, JD and Connor have finished eating their picnic lunch and are kicking a small soccer ball to each other. I have so many questions I want to ask but I’m afraid of the answers. It’s clear that JD is a wonderful father, and very attentive and loving toward Connor. Connor must get his looks from his mother because I can’t find any physical characteristics that he shares with JD. It makes me curious to know who the mother is and what she means to him.
“You’ve got that look,” Austin says as I help him take off the main sail cover. He connects the head of the mainsail to its track, then attaches the halyard to the mainsail.
“What look?”
Austin pulls the slack out of the halyard. “The look that says you’re thinking way too hard about something, and from where your attention has been the last half hour, it’s about JD. Can you get the headsail out from the hatch?”
I turn around and open the small hatch and hand it to him using both hands because it’s heavier than it looks. Austin takes it out of the fabric covering, unfolds the sail, and gets it prepped and ready just like he did for the mainsail.
“Can I help?” Connor shouts at us from the end of the dock.
I make a grand gesture of standing up straight and regal, and loudly announce for Connor’s benefit, “Captain Austin, permission for our crew to come aboard.”
“Permission granted,” he replies, smirking at my silliness.
JD has to hold an exuberant Connor back from jumping across the dock to the boat. I walk over and JD lifts Connor and passes him over to me. Connor wraps his arms around my neck and gives me a wet, smacking kiss on my cheek. His affection is unexpected and I just blink, not knowing what to do.
“Here, let me take him,” JD says when he steps over and onto the deck of the boat.
Once I put a life jacket on Connor, Austin motions for him to join him. “Connor, come help me tie the headsail down.”
JD holds his son in place, so he doesn’t run off. “Remember what we talked about. No running on the boat and do what Austin and Aurora tell you.”
Connor shakes his head emphatically. “I remember, Daddy. I promise to be good.”
JD pats him on the back, and Connor does what he’s been told, slowly walking over to Austin in a comical way like he’s navigating a minefield.
“It’s funny how kids take things so literally.”
JD chuckles. I look up at him and my breath catches at how utterly handsome he is. I’ve always been enamored with his face. It’s a perfect balance of rugged handsomeness and pretty-boy charm. The sun catches the light golden streaks in his brown hair and my eyes begin to sting. I blame it on the brightness of the day and my lack of sunglasses.
“I’ve missed you,” he suddenly says.
I hand him a life jacket and put mine on.
“Where’s Connor’s mother?”
He can’t keep saying shit like that to me while I still don’t know why he left and what happened in the years that followed. I scrutinize the crestfallen look that comes over his face. He ducks his head down to prevent me from seeing it.
“She passed away a few weeks after Connor was born.”
Oh. Oh, God. I feel awful for asking now. “JD, I’m so sorry.”
My condolence is a platitude, but it’s honest. I know how I felt—how I still feel—when I lost Cam. It’s an ache that dulls over time but never truly goes away.
