It takes her a minute but then her head nods yes. The breath I was holding rushes out, along with the apprehension I was carrying. I have a feeling it’s now or never. Aurora licks her lips and I’m distracted for a second. I have to literally stop myself from wrapping my hand around her neck and claiming her pink-tinted mouth.
“I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let…I didn’t have a choice,” I repeat again. “Either I left you and cut off all communication, or else…”
This is the hard part. Do I blurt it out? Do I backtrack and start from the beginning? Why are forming the words so damn difficult?
She reaches up and cradles my cheek, not seeming to notice the slight bruising where Prez punched me earlier today. “Tell me.”
I lean into her tender embrace. It’s the first time she’s touched me in years. God, I’ve missed her touch.
“Aurora, my dad, he…” I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly bone-dry. Fuck.Fuck! I begin again. “Aurora—”
“Daddy?” a small, sleepy voice calls as two little feet shuffle into the living room, a stuffed dinosaur held tight under his chin. “I’m thirsty. Who’s dat?” he asks, rubbing one eye with a little fist.
Aurora has gone stone still.
I curse a litany of foul words at Fate for not waiting five more fucking minutes so I could tell Aurora everything. I know she’s thinking the worst right now. I go over and pluck my son up and into my arms, pushing his curly blond hair back from his face.
“This is my friend, Aurora,” I tell him, and he buries his head in my shoulder before peeking up at Aurora and giggling.
“Hi,” he says.
Aurora blinks a few times. “Um, hi.”
“Aurora, this is Connor. My son.”
She jerks as if zapped with an electric shock.
“Let me get him settled back into bed. I’ll be right back, and we can continue our talk. Come on, bud,” I tell him, going into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water to take with us.
Aurora is watching us, wearing that blank poker face I can never get a read on.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell her again.
“‘Night, Rora.” Connor waves at her from over my shoulder as I carry him down the hall.
It takes me about three minutes to get him settled back down and tucked in. I kiss his forehead like I do every night.
“Love you, bud.”
“Love you, too.” He yawns and turns over to snuggle into his pillows.
I check to make sure all his nightlights are on and leave his door cracked open before walking back into the living room.
“Sorry about that. Thanks for waiting.”
The living room is dark and empty.
“Aurora?”
Goddamn it!
Chapter 40
My life officially sucks. Scratch that. My life is the dog shit that some rebellious teenager stuffs inside a paper bag, lights on fire, then chucks it at his neighbor’s house. Or maybe I’m thinking of the toilet paper prank. I don’t know. What I do know is that my phone has been vibrating like mad on the side table of the hotel room I checked into last night because I never went home. At least I was considerate enough to lie to Fallon and Trevor and tell them I was staying at Shelby’s, and I did text Shelby and Austin to let them know I was home and okay. My miserable life situation is turning me into a big, fat liar.
I roll over and groan into the pillow, wallowing in my pity party for one and trying to decide whether or not to remain in bed for the rest of my last day of vacation. I wish I had my bike instead of Austin’s car. If I did, I could spend the day riding on the open road. Or I could go and sit at Cam’s gravesite for a while like I do when I need someone to vent to.
For not getting a lick of sleep last night, I feel pretty awake and alert. Possibly because I’m still revving from a slew of emotions a therapist would have a field day trying to process. There are a few about Knox and his redhead from the bar, but most of them are over the fact that JD has a son. A son that looks to be about four or five years old. A son with the sweetest giggle and cutest curly, blond hair that would melt even the toughest of hearts like mine. A son whose mere existence tilts the last five years off its axis.
