What have I done? Why do I keep making stupid, bad decisions? Why does my broken heart still love the man who broke it?
Maybe he’s just the man to put it back together.
I stand on shaky legs and bend over to pick my phone up off the floor. Unlocking the screen, I scroll through my contacts until I find his name and type out one word.
Me: Emergency.
Instead of sending it, I turn my phone off and crawl under the covers, curling my legs to my chest, and cry.
Chapter 34
The Past
Four and a Half Years Ago
“Rory, you need to slow it down,” Shelby cautions me, but I ignore her and guzzle down another red cup of warm beer. She doesn’t understand. No one understands. I need just one fucking night’s peace. To not think about him. To not miss him. To not cry myself to sleep only to wake up hours later from the nightmare.
“Chill, Shelbs. It’s the last party of the summer before we leave for college.”
My words are already slurring. Good. I grab another red cup from a guy that walks past, giving him a saucy wink before I tip that sucker back as well. Ugh. Beer is nasty stuff, but beggars can’t be choosers. Even over the loud, blaring, thumping hip hop music, I hear Shelby’s sigh.
“You don’t have to stand here and babysit me all night,” I grouse.
“I’m calling Prez and Dustin. Why aren’t they here already?”
Oh, great. She’s calling the no-fun police. If they see the state I’m in, they’ll haul my ass out of here. Can’t let that happen.
Even in my inebriated condition, my brain is still somewhat functioning on two out of five cylinders and it knows to slip away from Shelby’s hovering as soon as she’s distracted talking to Prescott on her phone. I stumble a quick path through some of the partiers until I’m on the other side of the house and in the middle of throngs of dancing people. Should the room be spinning?
“You’re looking hot tonight, Rory,” a voice says from directly behind me. Or is he beside me? I can’t tell with all the spinning.
My body tips over and an octopus catches me. Who invited an octopus? Oh, wait, it’s not tentacles touching my body. It’s three sets of hands. Or maybe six.
“Hey! It’s Larry, Mo, and Curly!” I say when I recognize Will, Blaise, and Luke. “Where’s your fearless leader? He should join the party,” I announce exuberantly.
“Austin’s here somewhere,” Blaise informs me, and I smile a drunken smile.
“Awesome. He’s such a nice guy.”
I used to think Austin was an asshole who was only interested in getting in my pants, but after spending time tutoring him this year, I got to know him better. Austin is actually nice. Go figure.
One of the octopus’s hands glides down to my ass. “Why don’t we take this party upstairs?”
I don’t think Luke is talking to me since he’s looking at Blaise and Will when he says that. I’m about to say no way when someone hands me another drink. Yes. Just what I need to send me into oblivion.
I hear Will mention JD’s name and something about kicking their asses. Don’t they know they’re not supposed to say his name in my presence?
“He left me. He left. He said he loved me and would never leave,” I mumble, sadness creeping in.
Why did they have to say his name? I miss him so much. He said he loved me. And he left. I’ve tried calling him. I sent him “emergency” texts. I’ve left messages. Dustin and Prescott have tried to get in touch with him. Nothing. We’ve been ghosted. And it hurts so goddamn much knowing that once again, I’m not enough.
Everybody leaves.
I feel hands tugging me. Or perhaps it’s the room spinning again. I don’t feel so good. I blink through glassy eyes when I’m pushed down on something soft. Oh, it’s a bed. Yes, sleep would be awesome right now. I’m so tired.
“Take her shirt off,” Will says from somewhere and I have enough rational thought left to know something isn’t right.
“Wait. What are you doing?”
