“Why the fuck ishehere,” Knox demands, storming behind me into the library.
The library has always been one of my favorite rooms in the house. I can spend hours in here reading the tomes of old books that live in the wooden floor-to-ceiling grand bookcases.
Butch never comes in here, so it’s where I hid his birthday present. He’ll be turning fifteen today. I miss the cute, little Butch of five years ago—the clumsy, adorable kid in thick glasses. Butch traded his Coke-bottle spectacles for contacts, and within the past year, he’s shot up four inches. You would think with his height, he would want to play basketball, but nope. He’s following in Knox’s footsteps and is obsessed with bikes. He and his mom moved out about three years ago and are living near Devon on Fallen Brook Drive.
I walk to the large executive desk and grab the present I left there earlier this morning. I bought Butch a new helmet for his birthday. I designed the logo for it myself and had it custom printed on the helmet along with his name. I hope he likes it.
“I invited him and Connor.”
Knox blocks my path when I try to turn around. “Aurora, this shit has got to stop. JD is always around. He’s like a fucking rash that won’t go away. I only have another week here before I leave, and I would like to spend it with my girlfriend without having her ex and his kid in the way. You see him at work. He was here on Friday. Yesterday, you guys went sailing on Austin’s boat. And now today.”
I hold Butch’s present in front of me like a barrier. “Are you finished?”
“No.”
I huff out an irritated breath. Ever since Friday night when Knox came home and saw JD and Connor here, he’s been riding my ass all weekend. He had already been acting weird after I found him and JD in a stare-off in my office last week.
Besides, I don’t understand his ire. JD and Connor have every right to be here today. Elijah, JD’s cousin, is going to be here with his husband Julien. Elizabeth, Ryder, baby Marcus, and the rest of the New York Four are already here. So are Ben and Lillie, Renee, Shelby, Austin, Prescott, and Dustin.
The only person missing is Fallon, because he’s still in New Zealand. Then again, with Elizabeth here, Fallon wouldn’t be. For some bizarre reason that he won’t tell me, he has maintained his distance from her, and he makes sure they never cross paths when he’s in town. He will only write her letters as their form of communication. It’s weird as hell.
Before I came inside, I was enjoying watching Lillie and Connor play. The two of them hit it off so well on Friday evening, they have become instant best friends. While out on the boat yesterday, Connor talked about seeing Lillie again, so I thought, what the hell, and invited them to Butch’s party today.
“All of JD’s friends are here. Connor wanted to see Lillie. It was only natural I should invite them. I really don’t understand what the problem is, Knox. Can’t we please just go outside and join the festivities?”
“Do you know you talk in your sleep?” he says, out of the blue.
I put the present back down on the mahogany. “No, I didn’t know that I did that,” I reply, licking my suddenly dry lips.
“Want me to tell you what you say in your sleep?”
Why does it feel like I’m being herded into an admission? “No, I do not.”
Knox takes a defensive stance in front of me. “Do you love me, Aurora?”
My mouth drops open before I’m able to shut it.
He holds up his hand. “Let me rephrase that. Do you think you can love me?”
“Knox, I—”
He holds up his hand again, shaking his head. “BecauseIloveyou,” he says, his moss-green eyes glistening like dew on blades of grass. “I want to fight for this relationship, but only if there is something there to fight for.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Knox. I care about you deeply. I always have. You were my rock when I needed a strong place to land my feet. You’ve been my dear friend for years. I don’t know how I would have survived the past five years if it wasn’t for you and Austin and everybody else.”
“That’s gratitude, Aurora, not love. That’s being a friend, not a lover or someone you can picture a future with. You still haven’t let me do more than go down on you or finger you. I need more from you. Iwantmore from you. I not only want your sexy-as-sin body, but I want your heart and your love more.”
I lean back on the desk, my hands shaking slightly. “I’m still not ready, Knox. I can’t give you a timeline for when I will be.”
He comes to me, cupping my face and kissing me lightly on the lips. “Is it because of JD, or is it because of what happened to you?”
“Why would you think it had anything to do with what Blaise, Will, and Luke did to me? I sat through two years of therapy to help me deal with it. I’m at a good place now.”
I skip over his question about JD because I may have a great poker face, but I’m not that great a liar.
“So, it’s JD then.” He touches his forehead to mine, his thumbs moving back and forth over my cheekbones. “Why can’t you just admit it? Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn all the time?”
“Because I never want to hurt you, Knox. You’re too important to me,” I whisper.
