“Okay, I’ll give you that. I guess things haven’t been all that great between us.”
I reach out and he places his rougher hand in mine. Old scars crisscross his knuckles.
“Are these from fighting?”
“Yeah.” He sits down in the chair that Ryder vacated beside my bed.
“I’d like to come and watch you one night. If that’s allowed.”
Jayson’s eyebrows raise almost to his hairline. “You would?”
“Yes, I would. I may not approve, but I understand it’s something you need. I imagine you’re a really good fighter.”
“Why would you think that?”
“I mean, look at you.” His eyebrow rises even farther up.
“Are you blushing, Liz?”
“Shut up.”
He grins, then his grin dissolves and turns serious and sad. “Do you really love him?”
“Jayson, I never meant to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. But I’m not going to lie either. I do love him. I can’t explain it. It just is.”
“And I’m never going to stop fighting for you, for us,” he tells me with such conviction. “Your memories are coming back, and one day you’re going to remember everything. When you do, I’ll be there. Waiting.”
“Jayson, we don’t know that. The doctors can’t even predict that.”
“I know that. We found each other when we were six years old. That’s fate, Liz. That’s destiny.”
I don’t answer. The part of me that loves Ryder is terrified Jayson’s right. But I can’t live in the what if or what will be. I need to live in the now, and my now is with Ryder.
Why me? I want to ask him. Why is he so stuck on me? Why does he want me so much that he’s unwilling to let me go? I’m not special. I’m not the most beautiful. I’m scarred and messed up in the head. Why does he want that? Why does Ryder? Why does Julien?
“Promise me that you and Ryder and Julien will talk.” I tug his hand and he slides closer to my bed. “Promise me you will not shut Ryder out of our family because of my choice.”
“Our family?”
“Yes. We are a family. It’s like I told Julien. There’s a reason that I fought so hard to live, to come out of the coma. That reason is you, Jayson. And Ryder, Julien, and Elijah. I came back for all of you. You’re my family. You promise me right now that we will still be a family.”
“Liz, I have never once denied you anything you asked of me. Perhaps this is karma coming back to bite me in the ass.” I don’t ask him what he means. “But I do have faith that when the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, it’s going to be me and you and all our next times.”
“That was written on one of the paper stars. Those were really from you?”
“You had a jar full of them. The stars contain all my wishes for our future together.”
“I hung them from my ceiling. I look at up at them every night. Their words are beautiful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Jayson stands up, all six feet three inches, and bends over my hospital bed. His metallic gray eyes snare my sage green ones. The muscles in his arms stretch and contract as he holds himself above me using the two railings on either side of the bed. I notice the small white scar at the corner of his right eye. A day’s worth of dark stubble on his face. His dark brown hair that curls slightly at the tips. He really is a breathtakingly handsome man.
“I can’t promise that it will be easy between Ryder and me. My first reaction to anything is to fight back. But I can promise you that I will try. For you.”
“You will?” I feel a bit breathless and I don’t know why.
“Only for you. Because I know” — Jayson leans in closer — “that one day, your memory will come back. Until then…” He trails off and lowers until his mouth is a breath-width away from mine. My heart rate monitor starts beeping like crazy and Jayson’s smile blooms like a desert rose. He shifts ever so slightly and kisses my cheek before lifting himself up and stepping over to the door to open it.
