This is harder than I thought it would be. And why did I think it was a good idea to bring it up while he’s driving? What’s wrong with me?
Screw it. Here we go. “Julien knows.”
It’s still dark outside, the sun won’t be rising for another half hour. Streetlights and the interior dash are our only illumination. Ryder looks at me, then the road, then back at me, before staring straight ahead.
“He does?”
I nod yes.
“Hold on,” he tells me and then pulls into a parking area and turns off the engine. “We’re here. Explain.”
My stomach flips again because I can’t get a read on the situation. We agreed to keep us private from the rest of the guys, and I broke that without discussing it with Ryder first. Isn’t that exactly what couples in a relationship arenotsupposed to do? Relationships are supposed to be about trust and communication.
“It was Saturday, wasn’t it?” he guesses.
What? “How did you know?”
“Baby.”Baby. Every damn time. Straight to my heart.
“You can’t get mad,” I say to him and he just raises his black brow at me. God, he’s so freaking sexy.
“Julien asked me to give him a chance.”
Before Ryder can respond, I hold my hand up telling him to wait. To hear me out first. He settles back into his seat and I get distracted by how his biceps flex as he pushes himself to face me more. Where was I?
“He feels guilty, Ryder. He thinks he should have saved me that night and the guilt has consumed him. I don’t know what he was thinking exactly. He’s so in love with Elijah. Anyone can see that. I think he feels like I’m going to be taken away from you guys again, and he’s panicking. So, yeah, he asked me to give him a chance and I told him that I was in love with you.”
Ryder’s chest rises with a deep inhale, but he doesn’t stop me.
“So we talked. It was a good talk. He got a lot of stuff off his chest…” I trail off. “And he kissed me goodbye. Not goodbye, goodbye, but like a little peck on the lips… you get what I mean.”
My hands are doing gymnastics in my lap and Ryder reaches over to still them.
“Okay.”
Okay?
“Okay? Are you mad?”
He leans over the stick-shift between us, his gorgeous light brown eyes taking possession of my worried green ones. “No, I’m not mad. I understand where he’s coming from because I know where all of us have been at the past year. As long as it wasn’t anything more that deserves me kicking his ass, then I’m not mad.”
“It meant nothing more. I promise.” My sigh is one of relief. That’s what I had assumed, but you know the saying about those who assume.
Ryder gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. As soon as I’m standing, he presses his mouth to mine. “I love you, Elizabeth. I trust you. But that doesn’t mean he and I won’t be having a serious conversation.”
“Be gentle with him,” I implore. “Ryder?”
We’re hugging now. “Yeah?”
“Just like I made Julien promise, you have to promise me you’ll come to me first, about anything. Anything you’re feeling or anything that concerns you. Especially about what happened to me and my family. No guilt. Ever. None of what happened to me is your fault. You need to promise me that you’ll talk to me if you ever think that. Okay? And I’m ready to talk about it. We don’t have to dance around the subject anymore.”
“Dr. Clairemont is helping?”
“Yes. More than the therapists in Seattle ever did. Maybe it’s me being here that’s opening those locked doors. Maybe it’s being around you, Jayson, and Julien. I don’t know. Daniel is coming with me to my next session tomorrow,” I add.
“That’s good.”
We watch as Daniel’s new Gulfstream G700 with the D&D Tech logo on the side and tail taxies up to the hanger. I start bouncing on the balls of my feet in excitement.
