“I’ll call you tonight if I’m not too late. Otherwise, I’ll text you. And send me your MRI appointment info.”
“You really don’t have to do that,” Elizabeth protests.
“But I’m going to, so no more arguing. I want to be there with you.”
We arrive at the building for her next class. We look around to make sure the coast is clear and she rises up on tiptoe to place a soft kiss on my lips. I’m still in disbelief that I get to kiss her like this. If this is a dream, I hope to never wake up.
“Okay. Talk to you later.”
I watch as she walks into the building. Before she disappears among the crowd of students, she turns and graces me with such a brilliant smile, it takes my breath away.
When I turn around to walk away, I notice that guy, Trevor, Elizabeth introduced me to earlier. He’s standing with another guy I don’t recognize. Trevor’s eyes are fixated where Elizabeth just entered the building. I wonder if Elizabeth would mind if I crashed her study group on Wednesday evening.
Chapter 14
Jayson
I fucked up. I can’t believe how badly I am fucking things up with Liz. The more I try to reconnect with her, the further I drive her away from me, from us. I’m about to lose my damn mind. And I’m afraid. Afraid from the past year thinking I was never going to see her again; terrified that she might have died and I would never know; angry at having her back and not being able to touch her or hold her, kiss her or wake up to her wrapped in my arms. I don’t know how much more I’m going to be able to take.
A year ago our lives were so beautifully put together, our futures were bright and full of promise. I was going to ask her to marry me, we were going to live together and attend college together. Create a life together and raise a family. Children who would be the best of her and me. A little girl of our own I dreamed would have Liz’s stunning green eyes and blond hair. A rambunctious boy with my silver eyes and her smile. So many dreams of us, and now those dreams are mine alone. Liz’s mind has wiped them all away, has stolen the love of my life.
I’ve been wracking my brain while waiting for her to come out of class. Julien’s in there with her. He told me they had the same organic chem class. So for the last half hour, I’ve been sitting out here under the blazing summer sun, thinking up ways to get my girl back. She fell in love with me before. I need to go back to that time and figure out what I did then so I can use it now.
While planning out my next move, I see Julien and Liz walk out. She’s laughing at something he’s saying. My brother wraps his arm around her shoulder and places a kiss on the side of her head. That’s something I’ve noticed more and more the past few weeks. Julien never used to touch Liz like that before. I’ll need to bring it up with him later. Right now, I have to start to win my girl back – and I’ll begin with an apology.
Julien sees me first when I walk toward them. “Hey, Jay. We were about to head to the store. I promised Liz a spaghetti dinner. Want to come with?”
Liz considers me warily. I hate that my recent actions have caused her to react that way. Just another thing I’m going to have to fix. “Count me in.” I look at Liz, her face so utterly gorgeous even when she scowls like she’s doing now. “First, I would like to speak with you for a minute, if you don’t mind.”
Liz’s eyes flare and it takes her a moment before she accepts. Julien holds her bag as I wait for her to join me. I decide a little walk around the center quad will be appropriate for the talk I want to have.
We stroll side by side at a lazy pace, my arm occasionally brushing up against hers. The temptation to reach out and hold her hand is so strong that I’m forced to shove my hands in my pockets to keep them from touching her.
“First, I want to apologize for this morning. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
Her slender shoulders shrug up. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not fine. I want you to know I heard you loud and clear. I get it now. I’ve been placing a lot of pressure on you to be the girl you were. I can’t begin to fathom how hard things are for you and I need to be more appreciative of the life you’re trying to build now. I hope that one day you’ll remember us, remember all the love we shared.” I stop and turn her to face me. “Because we did love each other, Liz. So fucking much. And when I lost you” — I swallow — “when I thought I lost you, I ceased to exist. I didn’t know how to live if not with you by my side. The past year has felt like death.”
Liz tears up and she places her hand on my arm, her warmth seeping deep inside of me. “Jayson. I’m so sorry. I so very, very sorry. I’m sorry for what you and Julien and Ryder have had to go through. I’m sorry I don’t remember you. I’m sorry that I’m not the girlfriend you once had.”
“I know, Liz. I just have to hope that one day you’ll remember us. I know I haven’t done a good job of it lately, but I promise I do better and not push. I promise I can be here for you in whatever way you need me to be. Whatever role you’ll allow. We were always best friends before we were anything else. I hope we can always keep that part of us. Most importantly, I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me for the stupid shit I’ve done.”
“You’ve done a lot of stupid shit.” I catch the smile she’s trying to stop from forming and my heart soars.
“Friends then? Whatever you need, I’ll be there. I want to be there. The fact you’re here and alive and more beautiful than ever, makes me happier than you could possibly imagine.”
“Thank you, Jayson. That really means a lot.”
“So, can I have a second, third, maybe fourth chance at being your friend?”
Her laughter is like opening a treasure chest filled with precious jewels. “I don’t see why not. I would very much like for us to be friends.”
“Before I forget, this belongs to you.” I hold out the rose quartz heart necklace I gave to her on our first date, the one made from a stone I found in the creek near our two houses many years ago.
Liz toys with the stone in my hand. “It’s beautiful. This was mine?”
“Yes. I found it and kept it for you.” I don’t tell her where I found it. I was never able to find her promise ring.
