“Yep. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. It can get messy and loud at times, but we need each other. Jay may be my twin, but Ryder’s also my brother in my heart. When you disappeared, we were lost...Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring any of that up today.”
I open the box. It’s a small Bundt cake. I take one of the forks and drag it down the side of the dessert and taste it. “Hey. This is pretty good. Here.” I get another fork full of cake and hold it out for her. She quirks her brow at me and opens her mouth, then grabs my wrist and directs my hand toward her pink-tinted lips.
“Mmm. You’re right. It’s really, really good. Where’s my fork?” I hand it to her and we both dig in until half of it is gone. “I think that’s enough,” she groans. “I’m stuffed.”
Liz settles back in the chair and kicks her feet up on the railing as we sit in easy silence. I’m happy that Liz feels comfortable enough around me to be able to relax.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell her, sliding the patio door back and entering the condo.
Last night I printed out a couple of photos for her. I go to retrieve the printed copies; one is our prom photo together where I dip her over my arm in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the second one is a group photo of all of us posing along a fake New York skyline. I don’t know why I printed them. I could’ve easily just texted them to her. I go back outside to find her with her eyes closed and head tipped back against the chair. She must have heard me come back out because one eye squints open.
“I printed these for you. I don’t know why, but I thought you might like them.” She sits up and takes the glossy photos from me. “That’s us at prom. I had never seen you more beautiful than you were that night.”
“Ryder and Jayson had some photos of prom on their phones that I saw. You were my prom date?”
“Not exactly. We all were. Me, Jay, and Ryder.” I tap the group picture of the four of us.
“I had three prom dates? Are you fucking with me right now?”
I think I can count on one hand the times I have ever heard Liz cuss. She has far surpassed that since last night. The changes in our girl may be subtle, but they’re there.
“It’s complicated.”
Liz huffs at me. “That’s what Ryder said last night. You guys are going to have to clue me in soon. Did I like have a harem of studly beefcakes catering to my every whim or something?”
“No. Nothing like that. It’s not what you’re probably thinking.”
“Well, then what was it like because between these pictures and what Elijah said, it sounds exactly like that.”
“I think that’s something best left to when the guys are here too.” She huffs again. It’s adorable. “I’ll give you this much. We all loved you and you loved us.”
Liz points her finger at me. “See, that right there makes it sound really scandalous. Was I a prize of some sort between the three of you?”
“Liz, you weren’t a prize, but you were our princess. Jay and I always called you our princess and you said we were your princess. It’s complicated and a story that needs the three of us to tell you. It’ll make more sense once you hear the whole story. I promise it’s not as debauched as you think it is.”
“I feel it, you know,” she confesses. “I feel the pull. I feel it strongly when I’m with Ryder. I also feel it with you. But you’re clearly with Elijah. And Jayson, well, he scares the crap out of me. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he and I were together. It’s very confusing.”
“I know you don’t remember, but I’m bi. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. I was always attracted to you. But you and Jay started dating, and Ryder and I stepped aside. Then I met and fell in love with Elijah. Never doubt for a second my love for you, Liz. I’m in love with Elijah and have been for years, but I will always love you, Liz. You’re my best friend. This past year has been hell without you.”
She places the photos down on the patio table and stands up to face me. Her light green eyes scan my face, down my chest, past my hips until they get to my bare feet, before slowly coming back up. She steps closer and my heart begins a rapid beat. Reaching up, Liz skims her fingertips down both my arms until she reaches my hands. I bend my hands back and open them. She twines her fingers with mine and lets them hang clasped together between us.
“Julien, I have an odd request. I need to kiss you now, and you need to let me.”
I swallow, my throat suddenly feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton. “Liz, I’m with Elijah.”
She scans my face again before focusing on my mouth. “I know you are. I feel safe with you Julien. I need to see what this pull is. I need to understand it. Does that make sense? I need to start making sense of all this confusion. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I just need to know. Will you help me?”
Her pained voice is a breath of a whisper, and it breaks my heart. I didn’t protect her. I didn’t stop her from leaving that night. She’s hurt because of me. Because of my failure. I’ll do anything to make up for it.
I utter the only word I’m capable of. “Yes.”
Using the strength of our hands which are grasped tightly together, she pushes down while rising up on her toes. I close my eyes, the expectation of her is devastating. I wait a beat and when nothing happens, I open my eyes. She’s right in front of me, mere millimeters separating us.
“That’s better,” she says before closing the miniscule gap that brings her lips to mine. No wonder my brother was so obsessed with kissing her. If she was within reaching distance of him, he was always touching her and kissing her, never able to get enough. I understand why now. Her lips are so fucking soft.
She keeps her lips pressed together and touches them to mine. Her kiss is sweet and gentle. The last girl I kissed was Liz’s ex-best friend Maria when we were in fifth grade, way before I started dating Elijah. I haven’t kissed another girl since.
Liz pulls back and we gradually break apart. Instant guilt consumes me. Did I just cheat on my boyfriend? Does a somewhat innocent kiss between friends count as being unfaithful? Liz lays her forehead against my chest and sighs. My heart constricts painfully. Jay would kill my ass if he found out I kissed her, innocent or not.
