“No,” she falls down to her knees in front of me and tries to wrench her hands out of my grasp to unbuckle my pants.
For fuck’s sake, not this again. I look down at Maria and see images of Jacinda doing the exact same thing. I’m not going down that road of shame and regret ever again.Disgusted with what she’s trying to do, I take a step back away from her.
“Maria, I said stop.”
“Why can’t you love me like I love you? It’s all her fault! She doesn’t give a damn about you! She takes and takes and takes. She has Jayson. It’s not fair! She shouldn’t get you too.”
I take another step back wanting as much distance between us as possible. How could I not have seen this about her? How could I not see her hatred for Elizabeth?
“You know what? I’m fucking done. Enough of this bullshit, Maria. We're done. Over. No longer together. I’m not your boyfriend anymore. And you’re right. I don’t love you. I never did love you. I’m sorry if I ever led you on. That’s on me and I apologize. But what you said to Elizabeth, what you just said to me now, that’s all sorts of fucked up.”
Maria rises up from the floor, hate and venom radiating from her eyes. “Fuck you, Ryder. And fuck Elizabeth.”
“Stay away from Elizabeth. I’m warning you, Maria.”
“Like you said. We’re no longer together. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”
With that, she flings open the door and leaves. Fucking hell. I rub my hands over the back of my head. If what Maria said is true - that this entire time she just used Elizabeth to get to me - Elizabeth isn’t going to understand.
Chapter 19
Julien
“Today could have been better,” I tell Elijah when he arrives at my house. Knowing Jayson had to pick up Liz from work, I texted Elijah and told him to come over at six instead of seven. I wanted some alone time with him before everyone showed up.
We’re in my room, the one Jay and I share. Jay and I told Mom what happened to Liz today and what we were planning to do for her tonight to help cheer her up. Mom said she would make homemade pizza for us and Liz’s favorite allergen-free chocolate chip cookies. Our mom is the best.
Elijah wraps me in a tight hug. “Unfortunately, everyone at Highland saw the video too. I’m so sorry J. Liz didn’t deserve what Maria said to her, and she definitely didn’t deserve to have it aired publicly like it was.” He leans back and grabs my face to kiss me.
“That’s not the worst of it. Ryder tried to talk to Maria. Maria says she hates Liz and was only her friend so she could get access to Ryder.”
“You’re kidding right?”
“Wish I was.”
“It’s amazing what jealousy does to people. Take us for example.”
I sit back on my bed and give him a quizzical look. “What about us?”
Elijah laughs and sits back next to me. “Sorry, I’m not explaining it well. What I’m trying to say is that Maria’s jealousy of Liz is making her lash out. But that’s completely on her and it’s wrong for her to do it. I could be jealous of Liz.”
“What the hell would you be jealous of Liz for?”
“Because you love her.”
“Well, of course I fucking love her. I always have. What does that have to do with us?”
“You’re bi, I’m not,” he explains. “I love you and I know you love me back. But you also love Liz. Do I worry that one day you’ll decide to act on that love for Liz and leave me to be with her? No, I don’t. Because we love each other and trust each other. I care about Liz too. She’s a good person, and the way she loves you just makes me like her more. Does that make sense?”
“A little, I guess.” I reach for his hand.
“I could let my insecurities and jealousy control me, but I don’t. I trust what we have together. I trust you. Maria can’t do that with Ryder. She’s been swimming in her own pit of jealousy for so long, it taints everything in her life. She’ll realize one day that Liz was a true friend to her, and she fucked it up.”
I think about what he’s saying. Yes, I’m bisexual, and yes, if I wanted to have a relationship right now with a girl, I would definitely want it to be with Liz. Like Ryder, I loved Liz enough to step aside and allow her to find happiness with Jayson. However, I am damn lucky to have found Elijah and am even luckier that he loves me. I’m happy. My life is good. I have so much to look forward to.
“Let’s go down and help Mom with the pizzas. Everybody should be getting here soon.” I stop at my doorway. “Thanks E, for listening and for understanding.”
“Always.”
