“And?” she prods inching her hands closer.
“And it waseverything,” I exhale, eyes closing as I picture Jayson’s face hovering above me, his eyes boring into mine as he slid into me for the first time.
Hailey collapses on top of me with a fierce hug. “I knew it! Oh, Lizzie. Oh, I’m gonna cry.”
A bit bewildered I push her off. “Why are you going to cry?”
“Happy tears. I’m so happy for you. Are you ok? You did use protection, right? How do you feel?”
For some unknown reason, I remember the words my mom said to me when I was little about crying love tears. I get it now.
“I feel good,” I falter trying to find the right words. “Changed. Different. Loved,” I breathe out the last word.
“That’s all I need to know. I don’t need any details. I just wanted to make sure you were happy about it.”
“I am. I promise.”
“Mom said breakfast is soon. They don’t know you stayed out all night. I covered for you,” she grins.
“Thanks, Hales. Tell her I’ll be right down after I take a quick shower.”
“I think that would be wise. You smell like Jayson’s cologne.”
I toss my pillow at her as she exits through my bedroom door. Opening my phone, I see I have several texts from Jayson, Maria, and Julien. I look at Julien’s first. He sent me a pic of him and Elijah at their dinner in Fayetteville. Julien has his arm behind Elijah, and Elijah is leaning into his side. They look so happy together. I hope they had a good time last night and didn’t run into any problems.
Me: Love the pic you sent. How did it go?
While I wait for Julien to respond, I read Jayson’s texts.
Jayson: Wanted to be the first to tell you good morning and that I love you, princess.
Jayson: Thank u for giving me the best gift last night. I will protect and cherish our first time forever.
Jayson: I’ll drop by later. Check your windowsill.
Jayson: Many more next times to come.
I look over and see an origami star on my windowsill and get up to grab it just as Julien texts me back.
Julien: We had a great time. All was smooth and quiet. I stayed at Elijah’s after.
Me: Keeping me in suspense?
Julien: No. Just don’t want to ruin anything that’s building between me and E. But what did happen was nice. Very nice. Not one to kiss and tell
Me: So happy for you both. Really. Give E a huge kiss from me. I love you Julien. Always.
Julien: Love you too Liz.
He sends me another pic, this one of him and Elijah right now at a table drinking coffee.
Julien: Don’t forget to delete our convo.
Me: On it. xxxooo
I delete our entire chat and the two pictures Julien sent me. Since Jayson and Hailey know the password to my phone, Julien asked me to start erasing any text or picture that included him and Elijah. I wish he would talk to his brother, especially since things seem to be getting more serious with Elijah. I remind myself that it’s Julien’s story to tell when he’s ready to tell it.
I should read Maria’s texts next but can’t seem to do it. I’m not ready to hear about her date with Ryder last night. What if she and Ryder took things to the next level like Jayson and I did? God, I am such a bitch and a hypocrite. I should be existing in the happy elation of having sex with my boyfriend for the first time - a boyfriend who I love dearly - and not being jealous about the possibility my best girl friend may or may not have had sex with my other best friend who I am also in love with. It’s so screwed up and I hate myself for it.
