My brows draw down in disbelief at his words.
“I promise,” he repeats again. “You will not lose any of us.”
“But this, you and me, changes everything Jayson.”
“I love you Elizabeth. I’m in love with you. I have loved you for a long time. Tell me you feel the same. Please tell me that we can be together, that you’ll be mine. I’ll do anything. Anything. Just tell me.”
His anguished words pleading with me to love him back tear down my walls of resistance. I do love Jayson. Very much. But part of me also loves Ryder. Another part is devoted to Julien. My heart belongs to all three boys, but I have to choose. And now the boy I have loved since I was six years old is in front of me, declaring his heart to mine, trusting that I won’t break it. And I won’t, I can’t. So I give in, letting him make my choice for me. Isn’t that exactly what I told Hailey I wished would happen? A part of me wonders what would have been if Ryder was the one who climbed up the tree tonight into my bedroom. I can’t be that selfish. Jayson loves me and that should be enough as long as I am able to keep Ryder and Julien in my life, as long as I get to keep my other two best friends. So yes, I’m a coward because right now, I’m going to allow Jayson to make that choice for me.
Jayson waits patiently for my answer. I run my hands over his face and up into his hair. I kiss his cheek.
“Yes.”
I kiss his forehead.
“Yes.”
I kiss his nose.
“Yes.”
I move my left arm around his neck and grip it while cupping my right hand around the side of his face, my eyes staring at the gorgeous boy before me that has been my prince for so long.
“I love you too.”
Then I kiss his mouth.
Chapter 6
Julien
It’s after three in the morning when Jayson sneaks into our room through the window. I figured out where he was after I got home from Ryder’s and saw his shadow inside Elizabeth’s bedroom. I lied to Mom when she saw me walk in and asked me where Jay was. I said he was already asleep upstairs.
Ryder is a mess. I stayed with him after Jay shot off like a bat out of hell, and he and I just talked. He thinks Jay hates him. He thinks he’s lost his best friend. I reassured him over and over that everything was going to be ok. Jay simply needed a minute. Our bonds of friendship were strong. Eventually, I was able to convince Ryder of this, and I left his place feeling pretty good about things. But like the stupid asshole my twin brother just made me when I realized he was with Elizabeth, I was a liar. What I promised Ryder is now all a big fat lie, and that makes me fucking angry.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
I glare at my brother as he strips off his shirt and shorts and climbs into bed like nothing has happened. His nonchalance only adds fuel to my anger. I chuck a pillow at his head.
“Hey, shithead! I asked you a fucking question.”
“What! Fuck off!” he turns his back to me and takes the pillow I just chucked at him, punching it a few times before laying his head on it.
When we were younger, we had bunk beds. I slept on the bottom while Jay had the top. We still share a room, but now it has two full beds instead of the bunks.
Needing to see his face, knowing I will catch him in a lie if he tries, I sit up and throw my legs over the side of my bed, ready to confront him.
“Are you seriously going to pretend that I just did not see your fucking idiot self in Liz’s bedroom.”
I get nothing.
“After everything Ryder said to us tonight. He laid his fucking heart out for us and you just shit all over it.”
That gets his attention. Jay flings himself off his bed and lunges at me. My brother may be muscular, years of swimming giving him broad shoulders and strong arms, but I’m faster, my soccer skills and quick feet coming in handy. I dodge his attack easily and push against his back making him fall over onto my bed. He recovers instantly and jumps up to grab my shoulders.
I know he’s not fighting me. He’s fighting himself. He’s at war with what he’s done and needs to channel that aggression into something physical. Unfortunately, his punching bag is me. He sucker-punches me in the jaw, but I give back as good as I get and clip him on the nose. We both freeze after seeing blood. Some is dripping from the cut he opened on my lip, and some from his nose where I punched him.
“What are we doing, man? Do you feel better now? Want me to see if Liz wants to come over so you can pummel on her too?”
