I immediately delete the picture and text and block her number from Julien’s phone, but figure it’s not safe for me to try and perform a quick lobotomy before class to get that image out of my head. I toss the phone back at Julien as if holding it any longer will cause my hand to catch some disease and fall off.
Jayson decides to man-up at me and declares, “I never gave my number to her in the first place so you can’t be mad at me. I don’t know how she got it. You know I can’t stand her, especially after what she did.”
“What about when she climbed you like a tree at the bonfire?” Ryder chimes in.
“Shut the fuck up, Ry,” Jayson whisper-shouts at him trying not to draw Mr. Carmichael’s attention our way. I cringe.
A guy sitting in front of me turns around with his phone. “It’s all over social media.”
“No, no, no. I don’t want to see any more. I already decided I can’t have a lobotomy, so please do not make me want to gauge my eyes out too.”
“You need to mind your own fucking business, Darrel,” Jayson snarls and the boy swiftly turns back around in his seat. “I swear to God, Liz, I didn’t touch her. And stop trying to stir shit up,” he warns Ryder.
Jayson looks imploringly at me knowing this is the first I am hearing about Jacinda body-tackling him at the bonfire. I had to leave early to finish up a paper due for AP Lit class so apparently missed all the action.
“Don’t worry, princess,” Julien pats my back from behind, “Jay literally kick-punted her off of him. And then there was yelling. Lots and lots of yelling. Not from Jacinda,” he adds.
I feel a little hurt that Jayson never said anything to me about it. Neither did Ryder nor Julien. They weren’t the ones she was climbing all over, but they saw it happen. They know how I feel about her, about what she did, and I suspect Jayson didn’t tell me because he thought he was protecting my feelings. I turn toward Jayson. I can see regret and misery etched across his handsome face. I cave so easily for him. God, I’m pathetic. I know Jayson is loyal to me. They all are. They would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. Our relationships together are strong, built on a solid foundation that has weathered many storms. Our story, well, let’s just say it’s complicated.
These three boys have been my best friends since elementary school. I met the twins the summer before first grade when they moved in next door to me, and then Ryder joined our group in third grade. We live on the same street, so it has been easy keeping up our friendship and closeness over the years since we see each other all the time.
You would think that being besties with three boys would be weird for a girl, but my young, juvenile heart basically fell in love with each of them as soon as they said hello to me. I was the princess and they were my princes. We played together, had camp outs in the backyard together, ran through the woods together. Our families often went on vacation together too. Every part of my growing up is imprinted with memories of them. As the years went by, however, my feelings for each of them changed and morphed into something bigger. Something monumental. I’m still struggling with the choices I made.
Like I said, it’s complicated.
Mr. Carmichael clears his throat which signals that class will now begin. I quickly glance around me at all three of the boys. Jayson and Julien tower at six foot three inches with their metallic-grey eyes and dark brown hair. Jayson’s hair is slightly longer and curls around his ears and against his neck, while Julien keeps his shorter and has a little bit of a mohawk going on with his spiky bangs. I always think of them as my moonshine because of their silver-colored eyes. Ryder is my sunshine with his amber eyes speckled with yellow and green. He is a couple of inches shorter than the twins and has almost black hair cut short on the sides and longer at the top. I am the fairy starlight in our universe. I have platinum blond wavy hair that reaches past my shoulders and am tall for a girl at five foot eight inches.
Now we are finishing our senior year of high school, anxious to graduate and start college. We spent a lot of evenings talking and finally decided that we would all apply to Carolina University. These boys are my family just like I am part of theirs, and we want to stay together and experience college life together, just like we have experienced everything else together growing up. Jayson and Julien have already been offered sports scholarships to attend CU - Jayson for swimming and Julien for soccer. Ryder could care less about going to college but is going to do it with us anyway. He knows his future is secure since he’s slated to take over his family’s custom auto business. His parents are excited that he wants to go to college and are encouraging him to get an MBA that will help when he takes over the auto shop.
I think about what will happen to my sister when I leave for college. She is a year younger than us, but we have always included her in everything we do. That’s changed recently. Hailey has been distancing herself from me and her best friend Brea. She stays out all night and then sneaks back inside when she thinks everyone is sleeping. Rumor is she has a secret boyfriend who has taken up most of her time, but if so, she doesn’t talk about him. I’m pretty sure I've heard her crying in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I saw bruises on her hip the other morning which she brushed off with a lame excuse. She's always making excuses when I try to talk to her. I want to believe Hailey when she tells me everything is fine.
We used to be so close. She was the person I would go to first to tell my secrets. Since I was surrounded by boys, she was my girlie time. We did each other’s hair and make-up. We painted each other’s toes. We would sneak into each other’s rooms at night to snuggle close and Hailey would read me the poems she wrote. She has such beautiful thoughts. Her poetry is magical, the way she weaves words into pictures that sound like music. I miss those times. I miss Hailey. I don’t know what I have to do to get her to open up to me, but I plan on spending the rest of my senior year trying.
A hand on my arm breaks me from my thoughts. Jayson’s eyebrows draw together as he looks at me.
“Hey. You ok?”
He must think I'm upset about the text from Jacinda and what happened at the bonfire.
Noticing most of the other students are gone and several are shuffling out the door, I realize that first period has ended and I missed most of it. Luckily, I can swipe notes from Jayson, Julien, or Ryder later at lunch. I know they’ll catch me up on what I missed.
“Yeah, sorry. I was actually thinking about Hailey. She skipped out this morning.”
Ryder takes my book and notebook from my desk, shoves everything into my bag, and picks it up to sling it over his shoulder. Julien steps next to him and we all head out of the class.
“What’s Hailey’s problem lately anyway?” Ryder asks, leading us toward my locker so I can get the stuff I need for my next class.
One of them always walks me to my classes. I engineered it that way to for my own protection. That’s another long story. Ryder usually walks with me from AP Calc to AP European History. Jayson takes me to AP Physics and Julien is my escort to AP Spanish. Yes, I take a lot of AP courses. I want the college credit so I can breeze through my first two years and take other courses I'm more interested in. Maybe an internship. I already have a shit-ton of college credit as I've been taking summer courses at the community college since tenth grade.
I shrug my shoulders at Ryder to answer his question with a “beats me” and take my bag from him. Julien leans against the locker next to mine while Jayson and Ryder stand behind me. Someone skips up to Julien and grabs his arm. “Julien, hi.” I exhale an aggravated huff when I hear her voice.
Freakin’ Samantha Winters.
She’s just as bad as Jacinda. They’re best friends. What’s the saying? “Bitches who stick together,”…I forget the rest.
Samantha and Jacinda are the two head cheerleaders here at school and they have been after Jayson, Julien, and Ryder’s attention since grade school. Jayson and Julien always have girls chasing after them, especially since they’re head jocks for their sports. Jayson is captain of the varsity swim team, and Julien is a co-captain for the soccer team. Even though Ryder doesn't do school athletics, he has his own fanbase of desperate girls vying for his attention. Ryder is like the bad boy of the group, even though he’s really the sweetest person in the world. Since his family owns and runs a custom auto shop, he grew up working on cars and motorcycles. He races his custom ‘15 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat in the Fields which is our town’s version of street racing out in the sticks. Mr. Jacoby, a local farmer, owns a lot of property and allows the kids in town to use an abandoned field to race. The sheriff’s department knows about it and allows them to do it as long as no one gets hurt and it keeps them off the town’s streets. Except for last night, it’s been so far, so good.
In my defense, it’s not like I hate all cheerleaders. I just don’t care for those specific two. We have gone to school together our entire lives and not once have they ever said a nice word to me. The opposite in fact. They go out of their way to say nasty, passive-aggressive things any chance they get. I know why. I get it. It’s because I’m with the boys. I have the boys’ attention and time. It drives Samantha, Jacinda, and several other girls here at school crazy, and not in a good way. Then there is the incident that shall never be spoken about. My teeth clench and I break out into a sweat whenever unwanted images from that night pop into my head.
