“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” she adds. “And I know you were scared. But every time you pulled away, it felt like I was being punished for something I didn’t choose.”
The pain in my chest intensifies.
She shifts in her chair, one hand unconsciously drifting to her stomach. “I’ve worked really hard to feel safe again, Kade. In my body. In my own head. And letting you back in . . . it scares me.”
I force myself not to reach for her, not to interrupt.
“I see that you’re trying,” she continues. “I really do. And I’m glad you’re getting help. I’m glad you want to understand.” Her voice wavers slightly. “But wanting to be better and actually being better aren’t the same thing.”
I swallow. “I know.”
“I can’t promise you anything,” she goes on. “Not us. Not how this ends. I don’t even know what I want half the time.” She lets out a shaky breath. “But I won’t shut you out of the baby’s life. That was never my plan. So, if you want to come to antenatal classes and doctor appointments, you’re welcome to. And if you want to be at the birth, that’s fine too.”
I sag in relief. “Thank you. That means so much.”
She holds my gaze for a long moment, searching.
“We’ll take it one step at a time,” she says finally. “That’s all I can give you right now.”
EDEN
There’s a pause after I finish speaking, the kind that hums between us. The air feels heavier, like it always does when something important is being said.
I trace the rim of my mug with my thumb, not quite looking at him. My heart is thudding too loudly in my ears.
“There’s something I need to ask you,” I eventually say.
“Anything,” he replies, nodding once.
“The woman at the B and B,” I say carefully. “Your business associate. Is that . . . really a thing?”
He shakes his head straight away. “No. I told you, she showed up uninvited.”
“Why would she do that?”
He lets out a long breath, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “I think she . . . no, Iknowshe wanted more.”
“Right.”
“But I made it clear I’m not interested,” he adds quickly. “More than once. She was persistent. I didn’t ask her to come here. I actually told her to stay away.”
I lift my eyes to his. “So, nothing happened between you . . . ever?”
He holds my gaze and doesn’t so much as flinch. “No. Never. There’s been no one else.”
Something in my chest flutters, something small, traitorous. “Not even a club girl?”
He huffs out a quiet laugh. “Especially not a club girl.”
Silence settles again, softer this time, until he clears his throat. “I said some shitty things back then, when I thought you’d cheated,” he says, “Made you think I’d fuck around just to get back at you. I wouldn’t have,” he says clearly. “I was angry, and I let that speak for me. But I’d never have gone through with it. It’s only ever been you, Eden.”
When I don’t reply, he asks, “What about you?”
I almost laugh. The sound catches halfway out. “No. I wouldn’t dream of dragging anyone else into this mess.”
“Not even Pete?” he asks, a hint of a smirk tugging at his mouth.
I groan, dropping my face into my hands. “I wanted to hurt you. Then Martha said his name and I couldn’t take it back. The lie just took off before I could stop it.”
