After she left, it was all I wanted—to drown everything out, to go numb. Maggie put her foot down back then. Took the bottle straight out my hand and told me I’d grieve sober or not at all. I hated her for it at the time.
Now, I’m grateful.
I huff out a breath, shaking my head with a humourless smile. If she were here now, she’d already be giving me that look. Thedon’t you fucking dareone.
I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Diesel. He answers immediately. I push to my feet and step back out the room,shutting the door behind me. The last thing I need is Anika overhearing this.
“How’s it going, Pres?”
“Bad,” I mutter.
“How bad?”
“I’ve just bought a bottle of whiskey.”
He scoffs. “Travel size?”
A short laugh escapes me. “No. I pulled out the big guns.”
I hear movement on his end, a door closing. He’s taking this seriously now. “Alright,” he says. “Shoot.”
“Anika’s here.”
A beat, then, “What thefuck? Why?”
“We’ve got a meet with a contact at the docks tomorrow. She rocked up earlier.” I drag a hand over my face. “I didn’t tell Eden, and guess who just saw us together.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Is she okay? Did you explain?”
“No,” I say quietly. “She left before I could.”
“So, go after her,” he snaps. “You didn’t need to call me to know that.”
I inhale slowly, chest tight. “I just feel like I’m fucking this up,” I admit. Saying it out loud makes it worse somehow.Real.
“Fucking up would be giving up. It would be opening that bottle instead of setting things straight,” Diesel says. “You went all that way to reclaim your old lady, Kade, so what are you waiting for? Where’s your fight?”
I groan, tipping my head back against the wall. “You’re right. I know you are. I just . . .” My voice drops. “I can’t go through it again knowing I might have to leave here without her. Without my kid.”
“Kade,” he says firmly, “if we have to uproot this entire club and bring it to you, we will. Stop holding back and show her how much she means to you.” Then, sharper, “And don’t youdareopen that fucking bottle or I’ll come there myself and I’ll bring Maggie with me.”
A small smile tugs at my lips, even with my chest aching like hell.
“Thanks, D.”
I end the call and stare at the door.
If there’s one thing I know about Eden, it’s that words mean nothing without action.And I can’t show her anything if I’m here, standing in a room with Anika, letting Eden believe the worst.
I head back inside.
Anika has already poured two glasses of whiskey.
The sight of it makes something low and ugly stir in my chest. The memory of the burn. The release. I stiffen, my tongue running over my lips before I can stop myself.
No.
I grab my bag and start shoving my things into it.
