“Fuck, Jazz, why do you think?” he cries, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Because I want to be where you are.”
Before I have a chance to make sense of that pronouncement, he steps in close and wraps his hands around my face, his lips descending on mine. The kiss is…fine. It’s not explosive but it’s not horrible either. It’s exactly the kind of kiss you’d expect to share with a buddy you’re having convenient, drunken sex with.
At least, that’s how I feel about it. But it’s clear when Cody pulls away he just experienced something very different. And I’m suddenly feeling like a cornered animal as every baffling word Cody’s uttered in the last couple minutes echoes in my head with jarring comprehension. “Us...together”…“We should at least give this a chance”…“I want to be where you are.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
Finally managing to snap out of my stupor, I break away from Cody and take a hasty step back, holding my arms out to ward him away. “No, no, no.No—Cody, you can’t move to New York.”
It’s taking all my self-control to hold back the myriad of thoughts crowding my head right now. I’m not accustomed to biting my tongue or filtering my words; the delicate approach has never been my style. But regardless of how badly Cody has his wires crossed, he’s still one of my best friends and I don’t want to hurt him.
“What other option is there? We can’t just throw away something this amazing,” he implores me, stepping in close again. “We need to give this relationship an actual chance, and if me moving to New York is the only way for that to happen, I’ll do it.” I’m stunned into another stupor when he reaches up to cup my cheek and murmurs, “I’d move to fucking Antarctica if it meant we could be together. It’s kind of what you do when you love someone.”
Jesus fucking Christ. Thiscannotbe happening right now.
“Cody—”
My words are cut off by his lips closing over mine again, the kiss hungrier this time but still lacking heat on my end; of course, the red alert siren currently blaring in my head isn’t exactly putting me in a kissing kind of mood.
“No. Fuck. Stop—this isn’t happening,” I say firmly as I once again tear away from him, putting some much-needed distance between us. “Fucking hell, Cody, there’s no “us”,” I declare, lifting my hands to form air quotes. “We’re not together. This sure as hell isn’t a relationship. We’re friends who fuck sometimes when we’re drunk. That’sall.”
Okay, so much for the delicate approach…
To my surprise, his reaction is more bitter resignation than hurt. His jaw tenses and he glances away, muttering, “I knew you’d get like this.”
“Like what?”
“Running scared. You’re so afraid to let anyone get close to you, Jazz. I wish you’d just take a chance for once and let yourself be happy.”
“I’m not running scared,” I say tightly. “I’m clarifying the situation. We agreed to casual, no strings attached sex. You assured memultipletimes that was all you wanted from me, and I took you at your word because you’re my friend and I trusted you.” I fold my arms across my chest and hit him with a harsh glare. “Was Iwrongto do that?”
“Of course you can trust me,” he declares, looking genuinely hurt. “But I knew if you knew how I felt you’d be too scared to give this a chance. That’s why I thought this way would be better.”
My eyes narrow in suspicion as this altered context forces memories from the past few weeks to re-shape themselves into something wholly unsettling. “Whatway?”
“I just wanted to show you how good we could be together,” he says evasively, his tone completely free of remorse.
“By making me believe you were as blasé about the whole thing as I was?” I demand. “What were you hoping for—that if we fucked enough times I’d get hooked on your cock and wouldn’t want anyone else?”
He doesn’t answer, but his expression tells me that’s exactly what he was hoping for.
“Well, I’m sorry to tell you but you’re not that good a lay,” I say. “And if you’re laboring under the impression that you’re the only guy I’ve hooked up with since I’ve been in LA you can go ahead and correct that. You’re not even the only guy I’ve hooked up with in the past twenty-four hours.”
Cody’s face crumples and he looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “You were cheating on me? This whole time?”
I throw my hands up in frustration, letting out an aggravated groan. “For fuck’s sake, Cody—you can’t cheat on someone if you’re not together.”
He turns away, lowering his head. “Right.”
I might be well known as an unrepentant asshole with a biting tongue, but I don’t usually hold onto anger for very long. And if Cody would just acknowledge he crossed the line, apologize, and accept the reality of the situation I’d have no problem moving past this and before long it’d turn into something we laughed over.
But instead of showing any regret or remorse for manipulating me and abusing our friendship, he’s behaving likeI’mthe one who’s wrongedhim;and I can already sense there won’t be a quick resolution to this. Just being in the same room right now is making me uneasy because I have no fucking clue what he’ll do or say next.
“You need to go,” I tell him.
“But you said I could stay all night,” he reminds me.
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well, that was before. Now I really need you to leave. I need to pack and get to the plane.”
