I let out a breath of wry laughter. “Jackson, it’syourhair. You like it shaved close, so we’re shaving it close.”
“Yeah, but—”
I finally tear my fingers away and grab the razor from where I left it charging on the shelf above the basin. “Turn around. Let’s do this.”
Jackson shrugs and turns his head while I check to make sure the razor’s actually charged properly and then remove the guard.
I’ve done this so many times it’s like muscle-memory now; one hand maneuvers Jackson’s head around, while the other guides the razor. I don’t even need to think about it.
“Mmm…” The noise that falls from Jackson’s lips as I slide the razor up the back of his head is close to a groan. A hum of pleasure loud enough to hear over the buzzing of the razor, and enough to make me jolt slightly as a slight flare of heat ripples through me.
“Everything good?” he asks me.
“Yep. Fine,” I rush to reassure him. I draw in a steadying breath, letting my eyes fall closed for a moment before getting back to the task at hand.
Fuck, that was weird. Not the noise Jackson made—half the reason he shaves his head is because he finds it so pleasurable; I’m well aware of that. But my reaction to it? That’s sure as fuck never happened before.
I decide to just push it out of my mind. It’s nothing. It was just a weird blip. It’s been a few weeks since the last time we did this, that’s all.
It sure as hell doesn’t have anything to do with that outlandish theory of Deacon’s, or all the stuff Jax and I talked about last night.
He’s the love of my life, I’m going to stand by that; and the fact that he feels the same about me makes me all warm and gooey and fuzzy inside. Nothing wrong with that. But I’m notinlove with him. And I’m not attracted to him.
And I know this for sure because I tested it.
Deacon seemed so shocked that I’d never “wondered” about Jackson before. So last night I decided to “wonder” and it. Was.Weird. I wanted to be absolutely sure, so I didn’t hold back at all, even though it was an incredibly strange and uncomfortable experience. I tried to imagine fucking Jackson the way I would any other guy, and it felt so…wrongI couldn’t even get hard from it. First timethat’sever been an issue.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” Jackson murmurs.
It’s not until I hear the words of approval that I register what I’m actually doing—the razor is off and I’m leaning over Jackson’s head, gently blowing loose hair away. “Oh, shit. Sorry,” I mumble, rearing back and giving my head a sharp shake. What the fuck was that?
“No, I liked it,” Jax insists. “Can you do it again?”
I hesitate for a moment, but when it comes down to it, I can’t say no to Jackson. “Um. Sure, okay.” I drop to my knees behind the chair and reach out to guide his head down a little so I can get to his nape.
As soon as I start blowing away the hair there, Jackson lets out a soft groan that prompts me to pause for a moment so I can gather myself.
Jesus, this is getting ridiculous. What the hell is wrong with me today?
“No, don’t stop,” Jackson urges. “Keep blowing. It feels so good.”
Fuck, he’s going to kill me. But even as a queasy kind of dread starts to form inside me, I can’t bring myself to stop doing something that Jackson is so obviously enjoying.
“There’s just this one little bit left,” I tell him, which is the truth. “Then you can finish getting the rest off in the shower.”
I lean in again and am just about to blow, when Jackson says, “So you’re not going to blow me until I finish off?”
My puff of air comes out in a quick rush as my surprise gets the better of me and I choke on a laugh. “Alas, my expertise lies with a different kind of blowing,” I say wryly. I puff a little more air over his nape to dislodge the few remaining loose hairs, and then get to my feet. “All done.”
“No…do more,” Jackson urges, butting his head back like a dog wanting a pat.
I let out a soft huff of laughter. “Jax, the hair’s gone. Now it’d just be me kneeling behind you blowing softly on your neck.”
His head stills and he sits there quietly for a moment before turning back to catch my gaze, forehead furrowed in concern. “Was that…weird?”
I shrug. “It was fine.”
It was fucking weird.
