“Oh my god.” Deacon stares at me, looking completely awe-struck. “Oh my fucking god. You’re in love with him.”
I start coughing as a sip of my drink goes down the wrong pipe. “Excuse me?”
Deacon shakes his head slowly, running his hand through his hair in the way he does when he’s overwhelmed by something. “Fuck. How the hell did I never notice this before? It’ssoobvious.”
“It isnotobvious,” I say with an eye roll. “I’m pretty sure if I were in love with Jackson, I’d know about it.”
“Well, clearly you don’t.” He shakes his head, still looking awestruck. “Fuck, I can’t believe I didn’t see it until just now. I mean, I remember thinking you guys were together when we first met in college, but once that was cleared up it didn’t cross my mind again.”
“Yeah, because we’re not,” I remind him. I mean,duh.
“Skyler, you’ve personalized his ringtone to “I Like Me Better”,” Deacon says, as though that’s damning evidence of this outlandish theory.
I shrug. “Yeah, so? I do like me better when I’m with him.”
A curious expression touches Deacon’s face. “Does Jax have one for you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call his phone before. You always text.”
“Of course he does. It’s “Smile” by Uncle Kracker.”
Deacon quirks a brow at me. “Umm…Willow and Dean picked that one for their first dance at their wedding.”
I nod. “Nice choice. It’s a good song.”
He rolls his eyes. Then he rears back a little, letting out a soft sigh as he studies me curiously. “I’m sorry, Sky—I should have put all this together ages ago. I feel like I’ve been a really fucking judgey friend, giving you shit about your lifestyle and for not wanting to get serious with anyone and all that. The reality is you’ve been in a committed relationship most of your life.”
I stare at him in utter confusion. I’ve never needed an apology from Deacon, and I’ve never felt like he judged me or my lifestyle. We have different views on romance and commitment and crap, that’s all. But what he’s saying now just makes no sense whatsoever. “You haven’t been a judgey friend. And I never cared about you giving me shit about my sex life—I’ve shoveled plenty back about the weird obsession you have with intimacy and romance,” I point out.
“Also known as love,” he says dryly.
I shrug. “Whatever. But I seriously don’t understand this epiphany of yours. I mean, he’sJackson,”I state, screwing my face up. In all our years of friendship, I’ve never once thought of Jax in any kind of sexual way. I’ve seen him naked more times than I can count, because we just don’t care about that kind of shit. I see his dick hard whenever we’re watching porn together…or most of the time, at least; sometimes he’s not that into it, which is fine by me—it’shisdick. I’ve even been required to touch his cock a few times, both when flaccid and erect—for purely platonic reasons, obviously. And never—not even once—have I felt even a zip on the radar. He’sJackson.
“Why does your face look like that?” Deacon asks, brow furrowed in concern.
“Because it’sJackson.You’re weirding me out with this.”
“You say that like the thought’s never even crossed your mind,” Deacon says, looking completely baffled.
“What thought?”
“Of hooking up with Jackson,” he says with a shrug.
“Why the hell wouldthatthought cross my mind?”
“Because you’re a gay man and he’s a hot guy. Don’t you guys, like, watch porn together and shit? Are you seriously telling me you’ve never sneaked a glance and thought “Yeah, if he was into it, I’d have a taste of that.”?”
“Um, firstly, Jackson is not hot. He’s Jackson. And secondly, god no—why would I want to suck his dick?”
Deacon’s brows creep up. “Skyler, you want to suck every guy’s dick. The fact you’ve made an exception for Jackson speaks volumes. And,yeah,he’s fucking hot. Here, I’ll prove it.” Then he plucks my empty glass from my hand and sets it on the bookshelf behind us, then he grabs my arm and steers me across the living room toward Sullivan, who’s standing with his arm around Drew amongst a little cluster of our friends that includes Spencer, Will, Cole, and Paxton.
“Oh good, all the queers are here,” Deacon says brightly.
Pax offers a wry smirk. “Get used to it.”
Deacon lets out a soft laugh before posing his question. “Seeing as how you’re all attracted to men I want to ask you a theoretical question…”
Our friends exchange some curious glances before nodding and shrugging in agreement.
“As long as it’s not about sex,” Sullivan grumbles. “I don’t need to know what you and Tanner get up to.”
