“Vienna.” Caleb leans forward. His gaze burns into mine. “It wasn’t your fault.”
I duck my head. “You can’t say that. I was the one who added wood to the fire. It was my responsibility?—”
“No.” He touches my chin, tipping it up. “If it was anyone’s responsibility, it was mine.”
“What?” I blink at him. “Yourfault?”
“Yes, my fault.” Regret drags his mouth down. “You said you weren’t experienced with building a fire. I should have checked on the fireplace more often. I should?—”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was mine,” I protest. “Everything that happened…” My throat goes thick. “You stopped on the road because of me. Offered to let me stay in your cabin because you felt bad for me. You trusted me with your dad’s special retreat, and I ruined it. Then you had to come rescue me and you could have been killed. That’s all on me. Of course it was my fault. All of it. And I know I should leave. Get out of your life before I mess it up even more.”
“Leave?” Caleb straightens. “Why would you leave? Where would you go?”
The latter question is a harsh reminder of how crappy my situation is, and the tears start up again. “I don’t know. The shelter. The loaner car. Or… I can take a bus down south and camp out on the beach.”
Not that I have the money for a bus. Not when the last of my cash is gone and the little I have left in my checking account won’t even be enough to replace my clothes.
“Camp out on the beach?” Caleb’s voice rises. “You want to camp out on thebeach? Where some sick—” He stops. Takes a deep breath. “You can’t be serious, V. That’s not even remotely safe. Think about what could happen to you.”
I try to ignore the flutter of warmth that comes from his new nickname for me. “Then I’ll go to the shelter. Try to find a job in Montpelier. I’ll have to get my license replaced, and my social security card, but?—”
He grasps my uninjured hand. “Why would you leave? I told you, you’re welcome to stay here.” His brows pinch together. “Are you worried about being in the same house as me? I can put another lock on the guest room door if that makes you feel better.”
It’s so far from the truth, I actually let out a little laugh. As if I’d be worried about Caleb taking advantage of me? Last night, I had to fight myself not to ask if I could sleep with him. Not to have sex—it’s too soon for that—but as I lay awake, reliving the terror of the fire, I desperately wanted Caleb nearby to help me feel safe.
“Vienna?” he asks, looking confused.
“I’m not worried about you,” I explain. “It’s not that at all. It’s just…”
My throat closes up. My chin wobbles.
Caleb squeezes my hand. “What is it, then? Tell me. Otherwise, how can I fix it?”
“You don’t have to fix it.Ishould be the one fixing it.” Blinking away tears, I add, “I feel horrible about what happened. I’m just… I’m so sorry, Caleb. You’ve been so kind to me, and what did I give you in return? A burned-down cabin. A hassle you have to deal with. I wish I had the money to replace it. But I don’t. I’ll try to save up, and maybe in a few years…”
“I have insurance,” he interrupts. “I don’t need your money.”
“I should go, though. Get out of your life before I screw it up more. Leave Bliss and try to start over again.”
Caleb stares at me, an unreadable emotion working in his eyes. Then he shifts so he’s sitting beside me and clasps my hand between his. “I want you to listen to me.”
“But—” I start.
“No.” His voice firms. “I’m not trying to be a jerk, Vienna. But I need you to really listen to me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“First off, I don’t give a shit about whose fault the fire was.” Caleb stops. “Well. To be honest, I was blaming myself for it.”
My mouth drops open. “What?”
“There are reasons,” he says. “It was my cabin. My responsibility to keep it up. To make sure the fireplace worked perfectly. That the deadbolt didn’t stick.”
“I—”
“But,” he continues. “I’ve learned a lot about guilt over the last few years. I learned how suffocating it can be. How isolating. It can make you think you don’t deserve to be happy, when the truth is anything but.”
My heart stumbles when I realize he’s not talking about the fire. He’s talking about something else.
