The pair offered their condolences to his mother-in-law and Kaavi ushered them out of the room.
She looked over her shoulder and said, ‘Aren’t you coming?’
His heart did a flip. It shouldn’t have, but it did. He nodded and followed them.
They sat on the garden chairs overlooking a well-maintained backyard.
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t attend your wedding,’ Kaavi said.
‘We understand. Trust me, we do,’ Tarisha said knowingly.
‘You got married too. We didn’t know,’ Rikesh added.
‘It was very low-key,’ Kaavi replied.
‘Only two people at the marriage ceremony,’ Neel added.
Tarisha gasped.
‘You eloped! I love it,’ she said.
They sat in silence for a few minutes until Rikesh asked softly: ‘How are you doing, Kaavs?’
She looked away. She didn’t reply. Neel reached out and held her hand. She squeezed it back.
When she looked back to her friends, a single tear ran down her cheek.
Rikesh wiped his eyes and Tarisha leaned on him.
‘I can’t forgive him. I can’t. Can you?’
Neel found it odd that she was asking both of them if they couldforgive her father.
‘We actually have, Kaavs,’ Tarisha said.
‘We had to so we could heal, if that makes sense,’ Rikesh said.
Kaavi nodded.
‘I want to heal too, you know. But I think about it and I can’t.’ She paused, looking at a bird in the bird bath. Then she turned back to them. ‘I have panic attacks. When I left here, I found myself in another world. It was fast and ruthless. I would lock myself in the change room until an attack passed. I’d find myself remembering at the oddest times and it would hit me like a ton of bricks. Then I met Neel and the attacks stopped. I thought I was healing… but I wasn’t,’ she said.
Neel swallowed hard. His wife had been suffering in silence. He didn’t know she was suffering. In all the time they were together, she never showed anxiety. She was bubbly. She was happy. Or at least he thought she was.
They sat in silence until Rikesh and Tarisha said it was time to leave. They told Kaavi they would be at the funeral the next day.
Kaavi slipped on her sleep shirt and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Earlier, she’d caught a glimpse of the sari she’d brought along to wear to her father’s funeral. A sickening thought. People remain hopeful and pray when their loved one is critically ill. Not Kaavi. She’d packed a traditional outfit to wear to the funeral.
She wasn’t going to feel guilty about the way she was feeling. She had a right to hate him.
She left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom. She wondered what Neel was up to. Without thinking, she tiptoed to the master bedroom and peeped in. Neel looked up. He was in bed scrolling on his phone with his earphones on. He removedthem from his ears and placed them on the nightstand.
‘What’s up?’
She didn’t respond.
He pulled the cover open next to him and patted the bed. Still saying nothing, she walked slowly to the bed and then quickly got under the covers.
He smiled awkwardly. She did too.
