‘Mmm,’ he murmured, not wanting to come on too strongly. This was not the time to say ‘I told you so’.
‘It was actually quite liberating. I feel like I can do anything, you know?’
He leaned forward. ‘Anything?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow and looking straight at her.
‘Anything,’ she whispered, holding his gaze.
He wasn’t going to be the first to look away. Let her make that move; he was not going to be the one denying that they still wanted each other … badly.
But she wasn’t looking away! Instead, she licked her lips and that was all it took for him to look away. The Neel from two days ago would already have had her on his lap, but the Neel tonight couldn’t forget the fear on her face on Main Street when he’d given her a panic attack.
‘I planned to tell Anni tonight. I just needed to tell someone. That’s why I was at Riya’s … to tell Anni, but I was so nervous. Thank God for liquid courage,’ she babbled.
‘Liquid courage?’
‘I opened a bottle of wine before I went out,’ she said, leaning her head back on the couch.
Neel stood and walked over to the kitchen counter. He set his empty bottle down and picked up the wine. There was less than half a glass left. Kaavi had drunk almost a whole bottle of wine! She wasn’t drunk but tipsy enough that she would regret everything that happened tonight tomorrow.
Neel looked around. This apartment was so devoid of personal items that he couldn’t even find a hint of the identity of the man she was with. Where the hell was he? Neel may be her husband according to the law, but they’d technically been strangers for the past couple of years. He shouldn’t be the one here when she was tipsy – he gave her panic attacks, for heaven’s sake!
‘Fuck,’ he mumbled under his breath and turned back to the living room.
‘I think it’s your bedtime,’ he said.
She sat up and released her ponytail.
‘I like that idea. You’re joining me?’
Neel ran his hand through his hair. This was the last thing either of them needed.
‘You’re going to bed and I’m going back to my hotel room.’
She stood and walked slowly towards him. The smile on her face was mischievous and he knew it too well. It had got him into this mess in the first place. That night, when they met, she’d walked towards him with purpose– and that mischievous smile.
Now she was walking towards him with both.
She stood in front of him, reaching for his collar. Her fingers tugged at it, pulling him closer.
‘Still want to go back to your hotel?’ she cooed.
‘No. I don’t want to, but I have to,’ he answered honestly but didn’t move. Being this close to her felt so good, even if he knew everything about it was wrong.
‘What are you afraid of?’
He took her in. Kaavi had one of those symmetrical faces, the kind that scientists have studied and concluded that only the world’s most attractive people possess. But now her smile was lopsided and he wondered if she was tipsy enough not to remember his answer if he was truthful. Her fingers moved from his collar to his neck, playfully drumming her fingers on his skin. He tried to focus, so he looked over her head at a full-length decorative mirror on the wall. Bad move. The reflection showed his eyes filled with desire, and their embrace. He didn’t even know that his arms were around her waist. Because whenever he was around her, touching her, wanting her, needing her, came naturally to him. And she wanted to know what he was afraid of? He’d tell her.
‘Of you hurting me again.’
‘I didn’t mean to, but I had to. One day – some day–you’ll understand why I did what I had to,’ she said.
Neel was taken aback by her words. He expected her to wriggle out of his hold and walk away.
‘You said the same thing about the secret. You said I’d understand why we had to keep our marriage a secret, but it’s almost three years and I still don’t understand.’
‘You want me, right? I want you. We don’t need to rehash the past,’ she said.
He let go of her, reaching to his neck, gently removing her hands, and stepped out of her embrace.
