Magic maybe? Wolf traits manifesting early? I had no idea and it wasn’t like I could google “pregnant with werewolf baby symptoms” and get useful results.
My doctor had asked if I knew who the father was. If he’d be involved. I’d told her no on both counts and she’d given me a sympathetic look that made me want to cry. Added “single mother” to my chart and moved on.
And it didn’t help at all that the mate bond had never vanished entirely. Even across dimensions, even with whatever rejection ritual Mal had performed in front of his court, I could still feel him sometimes. Little flickers of emotion bleeding through the connection. Sadness that felt like drowning. Anger that burned. Longing that ached. Pain that mirrored my own.
It was the worst fucking thing ever. I was connected to someone who’d hurt me that badly, and occasionally I got unwanted glimpses of what he was feeling. Some pathetic part of me still wanted him despite everything he’d done and said. My hearthadn’t gotten the memo that he was a bastard who didn’t deserve my love.
I tried to close my end of the bond. Tried to shut it down completely and sever the connection. But I didn’t know how. Didn’t have anyone to teach me the mechanics of mate bonds and how they worked. So I just had to live with it. This constant reminder of what I’d lost. This ghost of a connection that refused to die.
When the hell was I going to be finally happy? When was life going to stop kicking me while I was already down on the ground? When would I catch a break that didn’t come with some terrible twist?
27
— • —
Wen
I was in the middle of closing up the shop for the day when my internal monologue decided to torture me again.
The usual routine. Count the register. Straighten the shelves. Lock the front door. Try not to think about him. Fail miserably at not thinking about him. Rinse and repeat.
I’d been feeling more of those stupid bond snippets these past few days. Little flashes of emotion that weren’t mine bleeding through the connection I couldn’t sever. Anger. Frustration. Exhaustion. The usual buffet of feelings from a werewolf king dealing with political bullshit in another dimension.
But I’d been so tired lately that I’d just shrugged it off. Five months pregnant meant I was exhausted all the time anyway. What was a little extra emotional baggage on top of the physical exhaustion? Just add it to the pile.
That’s fine. I’m fine. I have a good life here.
I had the bookstore running smoothly. Had friends who loved me. Had a baby on the way who I was going to love with everything I had. I didn’t need some werewolf king who’d rejected me. Didn’t need to waste energy wondering if he was okay or what he was doing or whether he ever thought about me.
I didn’t need him. Period. End of story. Moving on with my life now.
Except I couldn’t stop thinking about him which meant I very much was not moving on and my brain was a lying piece of garbage.
I was in the middle of this delightful spiral of self-loathing when it happened.
Pain exploded through my entire body.
Not the dull ache in my back from standing all day. Not the usual pregnancy discomfort. This was agony. Searing and intense and so overwhelming I dropped to my knees behind the counter.
I grabbed my chest and tried to breathe but my lungs didn’t want to cooperate. Every nerve ending was on fire. My vision blurred at the edges. What the fuck was going on?
Was it the baby? Oh god, was something wrong with the baby?
I forced myself to calm down enough to assess where the pain was coming from. It wasn’t my stomach. The baby wasn’t in distress. This was coming from somewhere else-
That’s when I felt it.The bond.That stupid mate bond that refused to completely die.
The pain was pouring through it in waves that made me want to scream. This wasn’tmypain at all.
This was Mal’s pain.
And if it was bad enough to break through a bond he’d supposedly severed months ago, then he was in the kind of danger that could kill him.
Panic flooded through me and overrode every rational thought in my brain. I had to get to him. Had to help, do fucking something.
I scrambled to my feet and ran for the back of the store where the portal was. My hands were shaking as I grabbed the edge of the chest. But then reality crashed down and stopped me cold.
What the fuck was I going to do once I got there? I was five months pregnant and couldn’t fight or run or do much of anything except waddle around and hope I didn’t pass out from the exertion. I’d be completely useless. Worse than useless. I’d be a liability that would distract him and probably get us both killed.
