“I won’t apologize for this either.” And with that statement, they both explored, touched, and joined again. And for all of these things, there was nary an apology spoken.
After what could have beenhours or only minutes, Michael led Lilly back to the lake where they tidied up as much as was possible having only two handkerchiefs and ice-cold water. Michael had managed to locate her hair pins, and together they’d somehow pulled her hair into a simple chignon. Her dress was wrinkled, however, and his breeches stained with grass. All Michael could do at this point was hope nobody noticed. He would not comment upon Lilly’s disheveled state, though. She might not return to the others if he did so.
There really was no choice in the matter.
Relishing the time in one another’s company, yet knowing it was nearly at an end, they walked arm in arm along the remainder of the path that circled the lake. Before emerging from the woods, Michael pulled her into his arms one last time. Forehead to forehead, they breathed each other in.
“I do love you, and I will never be sorry.” Lilly spoke the words quietly, as though reciting a prayer.
“Iloveyou,andIwill never be sorry,” Michael promised back.
Lilly dropped her arms and stepped away resolutely before twisting her face into a weak attempt at a smile. Michael placed his hand upon the side of her face.
And then it was over.
Unable to stop her, unable to offer her anything, he watched as she skipped ahead down the path toward the voicesof their friends. She would emerge from the woods alone. Michael followed slowly.
He was beginning to see she was vital to his future happiness. And perhaps he was to hers, as well.
AWAKENING
The early morning sun barely peeked through the trees as Michael rode along Rotten Row in a peacefully deserted Hyde Park. He’d been so busy the past several weeks, he’d not ridden as often as he needed. The whirlwind of meetings and dinners and other social obligations had pulled him into a vortex of sorts, leaving him feeling somewhat out of control.
Enough.
Presently his state of affairs had been manipulating many of his actions and decisions. He needed to reexamine the forces involved in his situation.
What was important? What mattered most? Upon returning from London Hills, Michael had been a man pulled apart by his conscience and his sense of honor as a gentleman.
From the moment he became the Duke of Cortland, Michael had made a vow to himself. He would live up to the example both his father and older brother had shown him. Although he had not been included in much of the training Edward had been given, he understood the major principles upheld by the Cortland dukes for seven generations.
First and foremost, do nothing to bring shame upon the title while managing the land in a manner such that the tenants and their families prosper. Honor the pledge of loyalty to England. And lastly, provide for the succession of the title.
Somehow the responsibility of caring for his tenants and providing for a succession had become synonymous with marrying Lady Natalie. His promises involved his honor and his standing in society.
But long ago he had made another promise.
Not publicly, or even formally, but in act and deed he had promised himself to Lilly. He had made this commitment before he had become a duke, and his change in status had not nullified it.
He’d thought she’d abandoned him. Did her marriage relieve him of the promise? And then he learned something about himself.
It didn’t matter.
None of it mattered.
The bigger issue was this: Could he extricate himself from his more recent promise without causing harm to the duchy, Lady Natalie, and for Christ’s sake, England?
First, he considered his estates and his tenants. His obligation to help lower the price of food would be less crucial after the votes had all been cast. Ravensdale had been intentionally stalling to buy time to sway undecided members of the realm. They needed three more votes.
This could be accomplished without his marriage to Lady Natalie. However, it would have to be done before he cried off. That gave him a little less than six weeks.
If he could pass his amendment, then he would have done what he could for his country.
Which left Lady Natalie.
Lady Natalie was a beautiful, accomplished, and tenderhearted young woman, who, he was quite certain,was not inlove with him. In fact, he believed ruefully, she was not even attracted to him. They treated each other almost as siblings. Assuming the vote could be presented in time, it was quite possible she might be convinced to jilt him. This was not completely impossible.
Then there was Lilly, the only woman he’d ever loved.
