“Sometimes,” Lady Natalie admitted, “I feel as though I do not really know Cortland. He is so distant…so formal with me. He is very pleasant and kind. I think he is a good man, but I am becoming less certain…about other things.”
Oh, this wasn’t fair!
Although it was a common notion, Lilly abhorred the notion of marrying for convenience’s sake! Would she be wrong to relay her feelings to this young girl? Would she be even more wrong to withhold it? Lilly had escaped her own horrible marriage by sheer luck.
Of course, Lady Natalie was betrothed to a man who was the antithesis of the man Lilly had married.
But if Natalie did not think she could love him, should she not be given the idea that she ought to speak up now, rather than later?
“My lady, Natalie, I feel it is my place here to tell you, although I think you and the duke are a good match, if you have serious misgivings, you ought to speak with your mother or father. You have told me they are good parents. Surely, they will take your opinion into close consideration.” The women walked in silence as they neared the end of the corridor.
Lilly then felt compelled to extend a word of caution. “It is just…marriage is lifelong. It is forever—or until death, anyhow.” Lilly grimaced to herself before continuing. “In time, I think you may very well come to love Cortland, but if you cannot fathom this…Well, are you prepared to live in a marriage that is platonic?” Upon these words, she forced herself to stop speaking. She must not allow her personal feelings for Michael to have any considerations in the advice she gave.
Lady Natalie sighed heavily. “I dolikeCortland. The same, unfortunately, as Ilikeall of my brothers. And sometimes…” She looked away. “Sometimes, I just want more.”
“Ah…” This, Lilly understood all too well. “Romance.”
Lady Natalie came to a halt and turned to face Lilly with an anguished look. “Yes, oh, botheration! And…and…I want passion! Is that asking too much? My father and my mother love one another. More than that;they are in love with one another! I know it exists. I often wonder, even, sometimes about…Well, there are other men in this world on whom I do not look as though they are like a brother to me.” The girl’s honesty was refreshingly forthright.
“It exists.” That is all Lilly could say. Her own heart beat much too loudly. It was impossible. This discussion was all hypothetical. There was no way Lady Natalie would break her betrothal with Michael.
Lady Natalie looked skeptically over at Lilly and nodded. “I knew it,” she said. “There is somebody in your past who was the love of your life. From the first moment I met you, I knew you were a woman with a past. There you sat, all buttoned up and quiet, but with a mysterious light in your eyes.” At the look on Lilly’s face, she quickly took Lilly’s hands in hers. “Oh, don’t be angry with me, Lilly. It’s just, when I first met you, I knew you would be a special person to know. I thought, this lady seems like she would be a very good friend.” And then she laughed at herself. “What must you think of me?”
Lilly swallowed hard.
“I think that you are a very special person to know as well. And,” she added, “I think you are a very good friend to have.” They both laughed, albeit self-consciously, and continued the tour.
Being such an enormous structure, the house required over an hour to view only some of the bedrooms, the drawing room, sitting rooms, ballroom, dining room, library, and kitchen. By the time they finished, the three couples were quite ready to return outside to the picnic which had been laid out by the quietly efficient staff.
Near the shore of the lake, blankets and pillows spread out on the ground with trays, plates, and glasses set for a meal which by no means resembled the basket of bread, cheese, and fruit Lilly had imagined. The ladies, quite picturesque as they delicately sat on the ground, doled out the delicacies provided. The bottles of wine ensured that conversation was lively and unstilted. And then finally, upon partaking of the culinary delights provided, Lilly rose to her feet.
“I’ve been dying to follow the walking path around the lake and see some of the gardens. Would anybody care to join me?” She addressed her invitation toward Danbury. He was charming. He could be quite diverting. He was safe.
He also appeared to be fast asleep.
Lady Natalie reclined upon the blanket and closed her eyes lazily. “I’m not moving a muscle, Lilly. Cortland, you will escort her, will you not?” She gave him no choice, holding her hand over her eyes to protect them from the bright sun.
Glenda and Mr. Spencer had disappeared into the house to…peruse the library.
“I’d be honored.” Michael rose to his feet. And to Natalie, “Are you sure you don’t wish to join us? It may take a while to circle the entire lake.”
Without opening her eyes, Natalie refused again. “I’ve beenaround it dozens of times. Take your time. I might enjoy another glass of wine.”
Lilly knew she ought to sit right back down and announce she’d changed her mind, but the thought of exploring such a picturesque trail with him was too enticing to ignore. She would keep her distance, though. They would not speak of any personal matters.
Such were her resolutions.
Before he could offer his arm, she skipped ahead, away from the safety of Lady Natalie and Hugh.
She felt Michael following. Those long even strides of his would easily keep up with her.
Stopping frequently to examine flowers and shrubs along the way, she eventually forgot her misgivings and gave in to the enjoyment of the moment. And once she began talking, she could not help but tell him of the secret gardens she had maintained at Beauchamp Manor. She also enthusiastically described her plans to redesign the landscaping behind her aunt’s town house.
Michael seemed intrigued and asked insightful questions about some of her grafting techniques. As a landowner, he said, he spent a great deal of his time thinking about planting and harvesting. He seemed to appreciate her opinions.
He also appreciatedthe smiles she flashed him. In fact, Michael enjoyed himself immensely. Despite his earlier discomfort, this picnic outing was proving to be a pleasant escape from the demands of the season. The gentlemen had discarded their waistcoats with the permission of the ladies, and there had been an unspoken agreement to allow some of society’s rigid rules to be ignored. It had become a day to lower inhibitions and relax among friends.
And although bittersweet, he would accept this time alone with Lilly for the gift that it was.
